SingleD and Better

By Nancy D. Galang


"My favorite thing about being a mom is just what a better person it makes you on a daily basis." - Drew Barrymore

I became a better person when I BECAME a MOM

May 10 is Mother’s Day. And moms all over the world are most likely to spend this special day in their homes with their families, while quarantined.  And to many, this might turn out to be a blessing because chances are, all our children are with us right now.

Let me congratulate and thank all moms, singleD or not, for all the love and sacrifices they have wholeheartedly given to their children. Saludo po ako sa inyo!

I celebrated the past three Mother’s Days without my children’s father beside me.  And those days were not any less special because my kids always made sure each Mother’s Day was extra-special. There is nothing like celebrating this day with them. After all, they were the ones who made me a mom.

With the four people who made me a MOM 

Mother’s Day in May 2017 was the first occasion I have had to celebrate as a singleD mom. Then came two more years, 2018 and 2019.  And all these times, my children never failed to make me feel really loved. 'Yun lang naman ang mahalaga, di ba?

Being a MOM is such a blessing, especially when your kids know how to appreciate YOU and the things you do for them.

When I became a mom, madaming naging changes sa buhay ko at sa sarili ko (bukod sa changes sa katawan ko!), and I am sure all mothers out there would agree. 

SELFLESS

From the moment I conceived, I became selfless. I was taking care of myself not only for ME, but because there was another human being growing inside of me.

Pregnant with my fourth baby, Rocky. In my 
arm, Nadja; clinging to my thigh, Nastassia
(not in picture: Nix)

Maselan pa naman ako maglihi. On the first month, nakakaramdam agad ako ng pagkahilo. And halos lahat ng kainin ko, sinusuka ko.  Pero sabi nga nila, the moment you conceive, you are eating for two. So I had to eat, and made sure I was eating healthy.

Selfless, also because my time was no longer just mine. I became the busiest person on earth when my children (all of a sudden) became four! My eldest, Nix, was three and a half years old when I had my second baby, Nastassia.  Then after 2 years I had my third, Nadja, then after a year, my bunso, Rocky.  Bigla-bigla na lang, meron na akong G Skwad! 

Yes they were a handful. But my mom always told me, "Kaya mo yan, wala ka pa nga sa kalahati ko." (We were nine children all in all.)

Celebrating my own MOM on Mother's Day.
(Mother's Day 2019)

PATIENT

With four children, and my mom's advice in mind, I also became very patient. Hindi biro ang mag-alaga ng mga bata, lalo na kung sunod-sunod sila. After a mom gives birth, iba na ang sleeping habits. Laging puyat because we have to wake up to breastfeed our baby and put them back to sleep again. Then wake up early because they are hungry again. Yes, again and again. 

When they get a little bigger and holler “Mommy!"  minsan sabay-sabay, all craving for your attention, hindi mo na alam kung sino ang uunahin mo.

Then as they grow up, when a mother begins to instill discipline in her children, ibang klaseng pasensiya na naman ang kailangan.  Children are all different. They are individuals who have their own personalities and mindset. So the more children you have, the more patience you need!

THOUGHTFUL AND LOVING

I also became more thoughtful and loving. I was no longer just living for myself because meron nang apat na nilalang na fully dependent on me.

When you have babies and they look so fragile, you can’t help but shower them with hugs and kisses. As a young mom, I would remember that tuwing lalabas lang ako sandali, gusto ko na agad umuwi because I missed my babies.

From L to R: Nadja, 2 years old, Rocky, 1 year old,
Nastassia, 4 years old, and Nix (top), 7 years old

Working was an emotional challenge kasi everytime aalis ka, may iiyak na bata na ayaw ka paalisin. Tuwing nasa labas ka, sila ang nasa isip mo.

This became harder when there are times na may magkakasakit. Pero napakasarap ng feeling when you arrive home from work ay nag-uunahan sila sa pagsalubong sa iyo kahit nasa pinto ka pa lang.

Thoughtful, also because all of a sudden, sila na ang priority mo and not your own needs. At hangga't maaari, uunahin mo sa lahat ng bagay.  You can’t just make a decision without considering them, how they would feel or how your decision would impact them.

STRONG AND RESILIENT

When I became a singleD mom I became a very strong woman and felt like wala akong di kakayanin. Kumbaga, para akong napasugod sa isang giyera na kulang ang sandata ko, pero wala akong choice kundi ang lumaban.

Being singleD made me more resilient. Iba't iba ang challenges na hinaharap ko; but after thinking and praying about what to do with every trial, lusob na lang ako nang lusob!

HARDWORKING

I also became hardworking. After all, I needed to earn for all my three kids na pinapaaral ko pa at that time (dalawa na lang ngayon, both in college).

I also still wanted to give them lahat ng dreams ko na ma-i-provide sa kanila, like our own house, and, maybe travel paminsan-minsan. So apart from my full- time work at a TV network, I was teaching every Saturday from 9am to 6pm. I also accepted directing jobs and other projects which I scheduled on Sundays.

Working on one of my projects as a Director for 
Mayor Joy Belmonte's AVP

RESOURCEFUL AND WISE      

And when you work hard, kailangan matuto ka rin maging practical and resourceful. I was more wise with money and I started investing.

Lahat ng puwede kong matipid, ginagawa ko, like I prepare my baon for work everyday. 

I also taught my kids to cook while staying in our rented condo near their school (at alam nilang napakamahal ang laging kumakain sa labas or nagte-take-out ng food). I cut back on my habit and love for Starbucks Frappuccino, too!

Nadja received a one hundred percent
scholarship grant as soon as she entered College.
(Above: Her graduation from High School)

As part of being resourceful,  gusto ko rin i-share na on the first year that I became singleD, I told my daughter Nadja (who then just graduated from High School), to apply for a scholarship grant. Baka lang naman kahit 50 percent mabigyan kami. But God has been so gracious and generous to me that when I opened the letter from her school, she was given 100 percent grant!  Salamat na lang din at may angking talino at talent ang mga anak ko. Thank you Lord!

INDEPENDENT

As a singleD mom, I also became very independent because I know na ako lang ang frontliner sa G Skwad household.  

I was pampered and well-provided for as a daughter, being the 8th child and the youngest among the girls. But when I got married and eventually became singleD, I was on my own and I had to do things by myself. Naging nanay at tatay ako, at the same time, to my children. Kaya even when it’s Father’s Day, they still greet me.

Our first trip as a family in Hongkong last April 2019

HUMBLED

Losing my marriage and my husband also humbled me as a person. Natuto akong babaan ang pride ko at aminin sa sarili ko na kailangan ko ng tulong.  Of course we all want to project an image that we are always OK at kaya natin mag-isa. Pero sa totoo lang, di ko naman kaya lahat mag-isa (feelingera lang ako). 

Looking back, I would not have survived without help from my family and friends.  Like what I mentioned in my last blog, I sought help from my family and friends when I became a singleD mom. 

A bouquet of flowers from my G Skwad,
Mother's Day 2018

A BETTER PERSON

I will not be the person that I am now without my children. I will not be the MOM that I am now without them. And each day of motherhood is an opportunity to be a better person.

Every year, my children remind me of how important, loved, and appreciated I am. 

My G Skwad showing me their appreciation 
through these gifts (Mother's Day 2018)

I will forever cherish the gesture of having cakes and flowers delivered to our house, all orchestrated by the G Skwad. But more than these, the handmade cards and letters that they have written are the ones I will always cherish the most. When I read them, it makes me more inspired to go on with the daily challenges of motherhood. 

LET'S CELEBRATE!

So to all quarantined moms out there, Happy Mother’s Day!!! At sa mga singleD, Happy SingleD Mom’s Day!

Some of my cherished possessions are letters 
and poems especially written for me by my 
children (Mother's Day 2019)

Let's celebrate the fact that being a MOM makes us a better person each day!

We deserve to celebrate and be celebrated for all the things that we do that fathers cannot and will never be able to do.  Iba pa rin ang mother’s touch!

Until then! Keep up the good work all you moms out there!

Catch you later! 

Nancy Mommy