My Katinko (Liniment) Era: Getting Older, But Wiser

 By Nancy David Galang, MA

"We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw

They say that that the average life expectancy of Filipino women is 73.6. This is based on the latest data published in 2020 by World Health Organization (WHO). In case you are curious, for Filipino men, it is 67.4.  Yes, mas maaga silang namamatay kaysa sa atin, kaya mga Misis na Nan-sis (Nanay sisters), go get them as many Life Insurances as you can! (let us please grow old AND wiser!)

                                      

This being a fact of life, I am now 17 years into this average life expectancy and now undeniably living my Katinko Era. Yes, JUST another 17 years. I turn 56 today (I know, I know, hindi po halata, haha). If 56 years just flew so fast, then I suppose, isang iglap na lang ang 17 years. And so after a few months of publishing my last blog entry, I am inspired to write about what I still want to do and wish to have, for the rest of my life. (I hope more than 17 years though!)

1. MY G SKWAD ALL SETTLED. 

Just like any parent, more so as a single mom, at the top of my list is to see all my kids settled. I guess hindi nila alam na gabi-gabi, bukod sa pagpahid ng Katinko oil, pinagdadasal natin bilang magulang ang makahanap sila ng matinong tao who will love and respect them, and be a real partner to them - mentally, emotionally, phyically, and above all - ang pinaka-masaya sa lahat - FINANCIALLY. Haha. 

I am glad that the G Skwad is halfway there,  two of them have partners already and so the next prayer is for these relationships to be blessed so that they will last. Ultimately, this is how I will get the peace of mind that I want at this age. 

Birthday moment 2019 at Pico De Loro Beach Resort, Batangas

G Skwad surprised me with this as we got back 

                                to the hotel room after dinner .                              

2. MY G SKWAD ALL HEALED. 

This blog came about as I embraced being a single mom, ergo the title, "Nancy Mommy Naging SingleD".  And this is not new to my regular readers.

Read here: https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/25980630201849825/6067711779981483604

To have a failed marriage and be separated means having the kids in that marriage become the collateral damage. I will forever be guilty and feel inadequate as a parent that I was not able to give them this "whole, unbroken family".  And so as I deal with their different ways of coping - mayroong galit sa akin and up to now blames me for it, mayroong na-trigger ang depression, and how else would I know if okay man sila sa panglabas, pero wasak naman ang kalooban, which most of us are. Hindi madali ang pinagdaanan ng mga anak ko, as this was followed by another major event - the sudden death of their father - whom they have not seen since the separation (5 years). Read here: 

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/25980630201849825/580805131134286119

But I do believe in this very cliche' saying that "Time heals all wounds" and that "We should accept the things that are beyond our control and focus on the ones we can." So I just pray hard that one day, my kids will fully  heal from these unfortunate family experiences. 

 

Birthday moment 2020. The simple joy of ordering 

my favorite cake from my student owned Alyanna's Cakes.

Plus lots of flowers from a dear friend. 

3. HAPPY CORE MEMORIES FOR AMARA. 

You know mga Nan-sis, bilang Grammy, you want the best for your apo. Especially the first one. (well sabi ng G Skwad first and last na daw at wala silang balak mag-anak - Gen Z's hello?) And so, now I just want to be there for her too and give her lots of very happy core memories. Eh kung first and last pala si Amara, might as well na ibuhos ko na lahat nang kaya ko para sa kanya! Read here:

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/25980630201849825/1875329147591351846

It is quite sad how things did not work out between her parents. But I am still happy that my daughter is present in her life every single day. 

                                                  Birthday moment 2023: When there is a little lovely 

                                                                 person who now gets to blow the cake for you. 

                                                                   

Not a birthday moment, but one of those precious ones.

4. FINANCIAL BLISS. 

I am sure that all single moms out there would agree, the financial aspect is undeniably one of the hardest challenges we face.  To support our kids, put them in good schools, make sure their medical concerns are addressed, when you are the only one doing it, is not an easy feat. It causes us many sleepless nights, the lack of focus to go about our daily routine when there are bills and payables, especially tuition fee deadlines to worry about. Kung minsan, or kadalasan ba (?) kapag "Myrna" (meron nang sweldo), hindi natin alam alin sa ating mga bayarin ang uunahin, kasi sabay-sabay ang "Judith" (due date). And the seemingly perennial question is, "Kailan kaya ako "makaka-LL"? (luwag-luwag). Relate kayo mga Nan-sis? 

                                     Birthday moment 2018: A year after I became single again and 

                                                          turning to good friends for company. 

One of the happiest birthdays: I was able to gather my 

closest friends.

                                             I am not fond of "big" celebrations but this is one moment 
                                                     when I decided to have one and I was glad I did because my

                                                         dad was able to attend in. He got seriously ill a year after. 

Sure, at this Katinko era, we just want to be able to pamper ourselves, but what we want and sometimes even need, is not a priority. Una muna ang edukasyon ng mga anak natin, kasama ang uniforms, sapatos, books, etc. -- kaysa sa pag-shop ng mga sariling damit natin. Una muna ang health concerns nila, kaysa sa beauty concerns natin like facial, botox, etc. Una muna ang allowance nila, kahit gusto nating magpamasahe dahil madalas na sumakit ang ating mga kasu-kasuan. Yes, una muna ang lahat ng kailangan ng pamilya natin kaysa sa pang-mani-pedi  kahit may in-grown ka na; kaysa sa kulay ng buhok, kahit nag-he-hello na ang ating mga white hair!

Pero good news - malapit na akong matapos sa isang major gastusin - this July - ga-graduate na ang bunso ko! Kaya beke nemen...financial bliss is SOOOO on its way!

5. BLISSFUL CAREER.

The artist in me has made me switch careers for quite some time. My dream career was to be in television and I did this since 1990 (my first job was at ABS-CBN, my first mentors were Ms. Korina Sanchez and Ms. Mel Tiangco). I went where there were exciting TV shows for me to do - and so I found myself in Wowowee, Philippine Idol, etc). Being in television was one of the most exciting and interesting parts of my career. 

With my Philippine Idol (Season 1) team.

Honored to have worked with the late Ms. Pilita Corrales 

and Mr. C (Ryan Cayabyab)

                                            The greatestt honor: serving the less fortunate kids who are so 

                                       close to my heart through Alagang Kapatid Foundation, the CSR group of TV 5

But when you approach your Katinko era, hindi mo na kaya magpuyat (tapings would have a call time of 5AM and sometimes end 11AM the following day for a teleserye shoot), mag-out of town nang madalas, at kumilos na parang wala nang bukas! In 2020, I had to make a decision to end my TV career and went back to my alma mater, Miriam College, both as a teacher and an administrator. Being back is like a full circle moment for me. And so - I always pray that my career now would always be blissful and blessed - not just financially (haha) but also with great teammates and great KRA's!!! (charot!).

                                                  

                                               Birthday moment 2024: Celebrating with my 

                                                      MC (Miriam College) Marketing and Communications Team

                         

6. MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

As we get older, you want less of the material things - the nice, branded bags and shoes, the nice car, watches, jewelries, etc. etc. Lumaki po ako na maarte (haha) - like most of you, hindi ko naman ide-deny na mahilig ako sa branded bags, shoes, and clothes - pero noon po 'yun. Kapag tumatanda ka pala, mas-gusto mo na lang ang mahaba at makabuluhang kwentuhan kasama ang pamilya at mga kaibigan mo. I actually long for this since naging single ako at pag-uwi ko, wala naman ako nakakausap about my dreams and goals, about my kids, work, or simply how my day went. Bihira na din kasi kaming makumpleto ng G Skwad because two of them have moved out, and another one soon. So God knows how thankful I am for my friends who take time out and be with me - to listen, to give advice and to encourage. 

                                                       Birthday moment 2024: Another celebration,

                                                                        this time with the G Skwad at Tagaytay. 

                                                   

                                                    Now one of my favorite places to stay in Tagaytay. 

7. HEALTHIER AND SEXIER!

Last year was full of health challenges for me, for my kids, and apo. And so I wish that we all would be healthier (and sexier!) for the rest of our lives. Ibang stress at anxiety ang dulot ng hospitalizations kaya talagang kailangan maging pro-active din sa pagiging healthy.  Kaya lang, due to my health issues,  binawalan ako ng doktor ko na mag-exercise for a while. Mahirap kasi I also gained weight because my physical activities were resticted for a while. Pero I am slowly going back to my cardio exercises. Baka lang naman madagdagan ang 17years!

At my age right now, I also want to still look good and so I have this ideal weight that I wish to reach. Iba pa rin when you get to wear the style of clothes that you want because you are not limited by your (over) weight. I believe that looking good contributes a lot to feeling good mga Nan-sis. So Katinko era does not mean "losyang" era, okay? So, let us please maintain our PIG-ures (Credits to Menchie Silvestre). 

Birthday moment 2024: Pampering myself  with

good food...

and quiet time... with lots of sleep.

8.  DRIVE AGAIN.

Noong bata-bata pa ako, mahilig po talaga ako sa kotse! My first car was a neon yellow Celeste sports car, lowered with spoliers and fog lights! And this was my car in college. I started driving at 17 and never stopped since then. So imagine my life now that I have been disallowed by my doctor to drive, due to my Vertigo. It's been 7 months since I last drove a car. Hindi talaga ako sanay na hindi nag-da-drive and I really miss it. It is when I drive that I get to think and listen to my favorite music. (Tanungin niyo pa ba kung anong era ng music ko? Siyempre, 70's to 80's!!! Kaya nga Katinko Era!) And so I am praying I can drive again this year. A red SUV. Specific talaga?!!!

9. MORE TIME TO PLAY!

They say that for us to be youthful, we should not stop doing the things that make us feel happy. For me, simple lang naman at mababaw, be able to go out of town some more (out of the country is best!) with my G Skwad, go for a long drive and have coffee along the way, have time to write, play with my apo, have time with my mom and go out with my friends. Kadalasan, 'yung magkaroon ng oras maglinis at mag-organize ng bahay, pati mag-laundry, ay play na din para sa akin! Ganito na nga yata kapag Katinko Era na! Parang ang boring ba? But it is what is is, mga Nan-sis! Ito na lang ang mga kaligayahan ko. 

 

Birthday moments 2025: Finally spending it with 

my eldest in Pampanga (where she is based)

 

Always my favorite thing to do: Trying out 

coffee in different places. 

10. NANCY SETTLED!

Don't get me wrong, hindi naman ako oblivious sa sarili kong wishes. At this Katinko era, I still want a shot at true love and getting myself settled. Sino ba ang may ayaw na magka-jowa na makakasama mo pa din forever. Sooner than later, G Skwad will all be living away and independently from me and nakakatakot din naman ang wala akong kasama sa bahay, lalo na kung may emergency.  Pero more than that, nakakalungkot din naman ang mag-isa lang umuuwi sa bahay. 

Since I got separated, lonely days (and nights) would come every once and a while, lalo na kapag meron akong problema (na mahirap dalhin mag-isa). Minsan, the mere fact lang na may kausap ka para makapag-unload at maibsan ang dinadala mo, really helps a lot already. I am sure na lahat ng single Nan-sis ko out there would agree, iba pa din ang ambag ng isang partner kumpara sa family at sa friends natin. 

But while I am a "hopeful" romantic, I do believe that it can only happen if it is the Lord's will for me. Whatever His plan is, to be settled and alone, or to be settled with someone, I am sure mas-bongga ang magiging buhay ko.

                                        

                                                    On my Vision Board: Have someone to share a 

                                                               good view over early morning breakfast & coffee. 

Kayo mga Nan-sis, you will all celebrate (and might have already celebrated) your birthdays too this year.  Kung nasa Katinko Era na kayo, I suggest that you stop and reflect on how you want to live the rest of your lives - and make a decision that you will live it.

Make every moment count, every single day! After all, "The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There's only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment." (Gautama Buddha) 

                                               Just last night: Celebrating with the whole bunch! 

What will make you happy? What will make your life more meaningful? Once you know the answers, go start living your Katinko Era to the fullest!

Until next time, catch you later!

Nancy Mommy