Celebrating the Gift of Just Being

            By Nancy David Galang, MA                             

                                   

 

Most of us celebrate birthdays and special occasions surrounded by the people we love. We gather with family, meet up with friends, and create memories with those who matter most.

But when you're a single mom juggling countless responsibilities, a part of you quietly longs for something different. Not another gathering. Not another plan to organize. Just a little space to breathe.

Because when life feels like an endless cycle of taking care of everyone else, solitude starts to feel less like loneliness and more like a gift. Quiet time becomes a luxury and something you rarely have and deeply crave.

And sometimes, the best way to celebrate another year of life is not by being surrounded by people, but by finally giving yourself the time and peace you've been needing all along.

Relate, mga Nan-sis? 

So, yes, I just celebrated another birthday. My kids were asking me what my plans were some days before, but I could not decide really.  If you are a single mom, typical answer would be celebrate with them.  Next, if may barkada ka, celebrate and go out with them too. But I usually go for the former, since I am really family-oriented. 

Pero every birthday naman, or anytime we want to get together, nakakasama ko ang mga anak ko. Barkada? Wala po akong steady set of friends na matic (automatic) na makakasama ko to celebrate with me. Besides, I am the kind of person who prefers to go out with just one friend or two at a time. Ayoko nang magulo at maingay. 

So paano ko nga ba ginustong i-celebrate ang birthday ko this year?  

This year, ang gusto ko lang is manahimik. Magpahinga. Take a break from my usual daily stressful routine. I just knew I wanted to have the time to breathe, be quiet, and be stress-free. So I made a list on my phone on what I would like to do - alone.

Magsimba. 

Kumain ng breakfast, somewhere quiet. 

Bilhin sa Decathlon ang mga kailangan ko para magawa ko ang mga recommended exercises ng physical therapist ko. 

Lastly, I just wanted to find a quiet little hideout where I could spend the night by myself.

But before anything, let me take you through what happened when I was driving from our house, mga Nan-sis. Nasa Marcos Highway pa lang po ako paaykat sa Antipolo, ay humahagulgol na ako. Imagine me!!! 

The first emotion that came over me was missing my mom and my dad. That feeling of aloneness and longing for them was just too overhwhelming. Then I found myself sharing to them and telling them how sad it was to be alone ---  "Bakit ako mag-isa? Gusto ko may kasama mag drive to Antipolo...ang hirap mag-isa!...Deserve ko naman magkaroon ng makakasama sa buhay, di ba?" Pero dahil ang feeling ko ay naninikip na ang dibdib ko sa kakaiyak habang nagda-drive, tinigil ko po muna ang drama at baka mabangga pa ako. 

Natatawa na lang ako ngayon, pero yan po ang eksena. Nevertheless, kailangang mag-move forward sa aking kaarawan, so I continued with my plans.  

MAGSIMBA (GO TO CHURCH)

I wanted to go to a Padre Pio church because both my parents were Padre Pio devotees. And I know I would "find" and "feel" them there. Naisip ko, doon sa Eastwood kung saan sila madalas magsimba. But I also wanted to drive to Antipolo. And so I decided to go back to this church that a friend had taken me to once before. And guess what? The church was called Diocesan Shrine and Parish of St. Pio of Pietrecina! Now this was something I did not remember when my friend and I drove up there. 

Sometimes, all we really need is a quiet place, a beautiful view, and

 a moment to release what has been weighing us down.

 

And then as I went down, I immediately saw that there was a wedding that was about to happen! Napa-smile ako. Is this a sign? Deep inside, I am still a hopeless romantic and weddings give me that heartwarming feeling. Thinking, maybe one day, ma-experience ko pa din. Really ba? Parang...NO! Hehe. 

Inside the church, of course, I prayed. I spent some time talking to God, without any pressure and without feeling like I had to rush through the conversation. I thanked Him for the good things he has blessed me and my kids with. Nix's new job, Rocky's new job, Nadja's two jobs! How blessed are my children? I thanked Him for Amara, who gives me those sweet little joys everyday; and for Clarice (who is provided with the energy  of a single mom like me) to take care of Amara. I guess like me, wala naman siyang choice!

MAGPASALAMAT (BE GRATEFUL)

While praying, I realized how easy it is to get so caught up in our worries, deadlines, and responsibilities that we forget just how much we already have to be grateful for.

That morning, I found myself thanking God for the things I often take for granted: my job, a team that supports me, and leaders who trust and believe in me. I was grateful for the simple provisions that quietly make life easier every day - the car that gets me safely to work, food on the table, family and friends who are always willing to lend a hand, and the many things that continue to work out even when I don't notice them.

More than anything, I was grateful for our health. Because when you think about it, so many of the things we hope to do, achieve, and enjoy become possible simply because we are well enough to do them.

After church, I wanted to get a view of the city. Now this is the part where I just wanted to get the chance to breathe! When I say "breathe", ito po yung malalim na hugot ng oxygen at malakas na pagbuga ng carbon dioxide papalabas. Na kung anumang toxic ang meron - I wanted the chance to let it go, even just for a moment. 

Sometimes, all we really need is a quiet place, a beautiful view, and a moment to release what has been weighing us down.

MAGMUNI-MUNI (REFLECT)

I have two favorite places that always give me this feeling: Tagaytay and Antipolo. If I want calmess, I drive up. And I have done these in my other past birthdays...driving alone. 

Every time I find myself looking out at those views, I'm reminded that God is real. It's as if He created those moments to gently remind me that life is so much bigger than the worries, deadlines, and little dramas that fill my everyday routine.

Whenever I visit, I feel a little lighter. The view puts everything in perspective. It reminds me not to get too absorbed in what's happening day to day, because beyond all of that, there is a bigger world, a bigger purpose, and a bigger God holding it all together. To sit still, look at the world before me, and remind myself that not everything is mine to carry.

For that quiet breakfast, I found myself going to Eugenio Lopez Center. It was another one of those places I probably wouldn't have discovered on my own if a friend hadn't taken me there once. 

And guess what? Walang tao! It was around 9AM and ako lang ang tao -  literal! This is God working out all my plans for the day. Imagine having the whole place to myself. The whole view to myself. So nag-ilusyon na ako na pina-reserve ko 'yun para sa birthday ko. Haha.

Bakit ba kailangan ng change of atmosphere once in a while? Kasi, it is at this time that I am able to realign with myself about my purpose. Yun pang Ms. Universe na question na "What is the meaning of life?". Paminsan-minsan, kailangan nating sagutin 'yan. 

At sa gitna nang pagkain ko ng favorite kong Tosilog, I appreciated not only that wonderful view, but also the blessed life that I have been living.  Yes mga Nan-sis, "blessed". I was reminded that hindi dahil non-stop ang ating mga pagsubok, ay hindi na tayo blessed. 

     

                                      The perfect breakfast. The best view. With an added treat from Oscar's, ELJ Center.                                           

ALAGAAN ANG KALUSUGAN (PRIORITIZE HEALTH)

After breakfast, I headed to Decathlon to finally get the stuff I needed...for months! I realized, the personal things I need for myself normally do not get prioritized kasi maraming ginagawa. Hindi binibili, dahil may ibang priority. This time - everything for my health was a priority - so I also made a stop at Watson's to buy my one month supply of medicines. 

As I have mentioned, I am truly grateful for my heath and this is one of my many blessings that I shouldn't take for granted. I can move, exercise, work, and still take care of my loved ones. Wala akong major illness. That's why as I celebrate my birthday, ang gift ko sa sarili ko, is to prioritize my health. And thank YOU Lord for another year!

MANAHIMIK (BE QUIET)

Then the final part of my itinerary: finding a place where I could be alone. Mapalad ako, my kids treated me to an overnight stay at a hotel.

Ano nga ba concept ko ng tahimik? Kasama diyan ang matulog, mag-netflix marathon, at siyempre, magsulat. 

Yung wala lang pressure. 

Purple is my long time favorite color, and look at 
the color scheme of my hotel room! 

It's really being able to spend time with myself and do the simple things that relax me.

'Yung maiba lang ang araw mo. 

'Yung mapagbigyan mo lang ang sarili mo. Maski isang araw lang. 

 

                             To complete my stay, I got all my favorite food from a grocery across the street. Add a few good                                            Netflix picks, and I was all set for the night. Ang sarap na mapagbigyan lang ang sarili paminsan-minsan.

JUST BEING

You know what, mga Nan-sis, ito ang isa sa mga best ways na na-celebrate ko ang birthday ko. Not really the happiest, pero siguro ito yung pinaka-makabuluhan.  Kasi naging intentional ako sa paggawa ng mga bagay na gusto ko lang gawin - walang iniisip na ibang tao, walang expectations na kailangang i-meet, walang kailangang patunayan. 

For once, I simply allowed myself to be. To enjoy the moment, to appreciate where I am, and to celebrate life in a way that felt true to me. 

Kaya mga Nan-sis, if kayo ay single mom kagaya ko, please remember that it's okay to celebrate the gift of just being. What does this mean, really?

"Just being" means allowing yourself to exist in a moment without feeling the need to be productive, useful, busy, or responsible for something. It's the opposite of constantly doing.

For a mom - especially a single mom - life can feel like an endless list of roles and tasks: working, paying bills, solving problems, taking care of children, planning ahead. "Just being" is those rare moments when you're not focused on any of those things. You're simply present.

Our responsibilites, obligations, and life struggles will always be there - pag natapos ang isa, here comes another one. Kaya't kailangan talaga isingit sa routine natin ang pahinga at paghinga. 

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and just be.

Until then, catch you later!

Nancy Mommy