Becoming a Singled Lola Part 2: Eto na ang JOWA Ko!

By Nancy D. Galang, M.A.

Ready for the good news, mga Nan-sis (Nanay-sisters)? Here...

Narito na ang JOWA ko!!!

Oops, not the JOWA you have in mind... but this JOWA:

Joyous Occasion Waiting for Apo!

Yes, malapit na akong maging SingleD Authentic Lolabelles! This month na ang kabuwanan ng anak ko. I will finally meet my first apo, Amara Catrice!

Ano'ng napi-feel ko right now? One of disbelief. Yes, I still can't believe it! I'm a Lola at 51. Kind of hard to accept. Parang sana nag-turn 60 man lang muna ako.

Pero like what I said a few months ago in Part 1 of this blog, when I found out that my second daughter, Nastassia (Clarice), was pregnant, wala naman ako choice but to accept and be supportive of her. Di na ako masyadong nag-dwell na kung ako lang sana ang masusunod, 'wag na muna. (Read Part 1 https://nancydavidgalang.blogspot.com/2020/06/becoming-singled-lola-by-nancy-d.html)

My second daughter Nastassia. 

Gusto ko lang sana, nakapag-work muna ang anak ko and had the time to enjoy her single life. Sana mas nagkakilala pa muna sila ng boyfriend n'ya bago sila magkaroon ng anak. Sana she had more time to learn about relationships, love, and yes, perhaps, heartbreak, before becoming a mom. Kasi all these will make her stronger.

Pero naisip ko rin, my sister Ning got married at 22, and she turned out to be a real great mom and has her marriage intact.

Sa kabilang banda, nandun din 'yung pinagdadasal mo na this first relationship (and this guy) is the one for her. Hindi s'ya sasaktan (kasi kapag nangyari 'yun masasaktan s'ya sa G Skwad, and this goes for all the other boyfriends). Hindi s'ya papabayaan. Hindi s'ya iiwanan kapag may pagsubok. In short, true, everlasting, unconditional love. In shorter (hehe), di matutulad sa amin ng tatay n'ya!

Pero, mga Nan-sis, what happened is irreversible. Beyond our control. Ito ang isa sa mga bagay na minsan, kahit ano ang gawin nating paalala sa mga anak natin, mangyayari pa din. And when it happens, we have to choose between being the understanding and supportive mother, or the mala-teleserye one na itatakwil at papalayasin muna sa umpisa ang anak, tapos kapag nasilayan na ang angelic face ng apo, ok na lahat.

Since di ko na naman mare-rewind ang pangyayari, I chose to be the first kind. Sayang naman ang oras na madadamayan ko ang anak ko sa first time experience n'ya of being pregnant. Sayang ang nine months if we will spend it na galit ako.

Getting ready for our baby's coming. Masaya ang
Christmas ng G Skwad! 

So, mga Nan-sis, now na malapit na, ano pa napi-feel ko? One of acceptance and surrender. And dahil accepted ko na, I started doing some preparations.

1. Prepare all the important stuff for the baby's arrival.

The first thing I did was to advise Clarice and Louie, her boyfriend, to make sure that the things the baby would need upon her arrival are complete. So they did their initial shopping a few months back. 

I also did my own shopping for Clarice since it is not advisable that she goes out to do it herself.

Using her savings, she asked me to buy a baby cabinet and a tub. 

Actually enjoyed this: Doing my first Lola
duty. 

Nakakatuwa! Naalala ko noon, ang baby cabinet nila was Winnie the Pooh design. But Clarice's tub was yellow instead of pink. Ah, memories! I still remember all the colors and designs of the baby stuff I bought for all my kids.

Then the last time we shopped, sinamahan ko silang dalawa to choose the crib/playpen. It helped that I had four babies and I know that kung crib ang bibilhin, ilang buwan lang ito magagamit, tapos need na to switch to a playpen. Pero of course for me, that first crib was used by all my four babies.

2. Gathered all the pre-loved baby stuff we can re-use for Amara.

Mga Nan-sis, ang mga damit at gamit ng babies, madali mapalitan. What I mean is, when it comes to clothes and shoes, sandali lang nagamit, makakalakihan na and then these are kept away for sentimental reasons. Then there are the bigger stuff like stroller, carrier, car seat. Mahal din ang mga iyan kapag binili ng brand new. Luckily for us, these are all ready and provided for by Clarice's cousin who gave birth last year to a baby girl as well.

Pero ang mas nakakatuwa, we opened this luggage where I kept all their baby clothes all these years and saw a lot that we can re-use. Wow, ayos pa at parang mga bago pa.! Madali naman bumili, pero ang cute ng idea na 'yung mga nasuot ni Clarice na damit, some of it will be worn by Catrice as well.

This dress was sewn by my mom for Nix. 
Clarice also got to wear it. And now 26
years after, it is ready for my apo! 

3. Prepare the baby room.

Next, we had to prepare a room for the baby. Sa ngayon, the extra room downstairs (which became a stockroom since we moved here) is being converted to a baby room/guest room. Dito mag-i-stay si Clarice and our little darling number 2 (little darling kasi ang tawag ko kay Clarice when she was a baby) when her boyfriend Louie visits. 

Right now, they do not live together, so he would visit only during his days off. (Rule ko, mga Nan-sis, na no living-in under my roof. If they want to be together, then they can find a place of their own later on when they are ready. I also told them no rushing to marriage. Only when they are ready and have had enough time to really know each other).

I taught Louie how to paint not only
walls but also the cabinet and bed 
which they will use in the baby room. 

Hindi pa namin tapos ang baby room, pero we are getting there. In fact today, I am tasked to buy an aircon and supervise its installation tomorrow. 

I am so excited to show you how the room will turn out. Sana lang matapos namin lahat bago dumating si Baby Catrice. It's taking us a bit longer because there is a leak sa room and in two days pa magagawa ang water proofing. 

(Mga Nan-sis! Ang dami kong iniintindi! I did not expect it to be this stressful and pressuring kasi nga malapit na. I could say, hindi pa din ako prepared!)

4. Clean, clean, clean!

For the past three weeks, I have been doing some decluttering since wala na nga akong storage space for the rest of our things. Actually, this forced cleaning I had to do, turned into a big advantage kasi otherwise, ang dami ko lang mga bagay-bagay na hindi na kailangan at naka-stock lang. 

So now, madami na akong naipamigay. Marami na akong naitapon. I have been reorganizing my cabinets to make more space.

5. Disinfect the whole house.

I have to disinfect the whole house as soon as I am done with rearranging. Lalo na ang room ko and ang baby room. I have to prepare tables in my room and the baby room where alcohol and masks are in place and ready for use before entering the rooms. 

Nung walang pandemya, ganito rin naman ang pag-iingat natin sa baby... alcohol bago hawakan, but no masks. Now I realize how virus spreads so quickly through MEN (Mouth, Eyes, and Nose) hehe. So noon pa lang dapat lagi nang naka-masks ang mga tao, lalo na when around babies or the elderly.

6. Prepare myself and Clarice emotionally, physically, and mentally.

Yes, kaming dalawa! Kasi kaming dalawa naman ang mag-aalaga. Ako ang ka-relyebo ni Clarice. 

Since the set-up is as I mentioned kanina, her boyfriend will be here maybe a week after she gives birth and will go back to work as a frontliner (he is a nurse in Heart Center) and stays at his dorm there.

Many times these days, I find myself asking Clarice, "Ready ka na ba?" but actually I hear that echoing into "Ready ka na ba, Nancy?" Kasi nga wala naman ito sa plano. Hindi pako tapos sa role ko bilang SingleD Mommy Nancy.

Pero natatapos ba ever 'yun? I guess not. And part ng pagiging nanay ang maging lola. Hehe. You can never say to your kids, "I am done being your mom."

So ready na ba ako? Physically, this would mean less sleep for both me and Clarice. Mentally, this would mean more maturity on her part. And on my part naman, even more maturity as her mom who will teach her how to be a first time mom.

Emotionally, well ito ang pinakamahirap. I am praying that Clarice will not have too much post-partum blues. Ako naman, I pray na kayanin ko itong additional responsibility as a Lolabelle, kahit ang dami ko nang everyday worries and iniitindi. Not to mention the bigger challenges I face as a SingleD mom.

Pero as they say, magiging ready ka lang kapag nandiyan na sa harap mo. So wish us luck, mga Nan-sis!

7. Prepare the rest of the G Skwad.

Buong G Skwad, affected sa major change na ito. As one my BFFs (bestfriend) Lynda Garcia would say, "This is an event!" So lahat kami, actually, kailangang maghanda in our own ways.

Supposedy, Nadja and Nix share a room, then Rocky has his own, while Clarice and I share my room. (Kasi nung nasa Saudi si Nix at nasa condo si Rocky and Nadja, kami lang dalawa dito sa bahay). Kaso sa dami nang activities at meetings nina Nadja and Nix, hindi sila puwedeng magkasama sa isang room, kaya Nix is also rooming in with me.

I guess they are also doing their own, I would call it more of anticipation, than preparation.

The G Skwad becomes six this month! 

For instance, Nadja asked Clarice when she is due to give birth, kasi daw hindi s'ya magbu-book sa sched n'ya.

Rocky has been teasing Clarice by simulating "baby cries" and how the house will be filled up with that kind of, well not noise, but sound.

Si Nix, ah, parang dedma? Hehe.

Maybe I have to sit down and have a meeting with all of them soon so we can help each other manage this major change in our household. And more importantly, how to support Clarice and how to keep our baby safe in this pandemic. We also have to take into consideration that we have pets: 2 cats and 3 dogs.

8. Do some reading.

Mga Nan-sis, since I mentioned na isa sa mga preparation is the mental part, hindi lang 'yan ang pag-psyche up na Lolabelle na ako. It includes reading and reviewing. If Clarice is reading on preparing to give birth and the actual process of it, ako naman more on how to take care of an infant. Medyo kinalawang na po ako, mga Nan-sis, after 20 years. So parang grade 1 ulit, brush up about the proper ways to nurse (hindi po ako ang magbe-breastfeed ha!)  para ma-guide ko din si Clarice. Read on how to burp the baby, clean the pusod, and clean the gentle pinkish puwet!

9. Buy some baby books.

I plan to buy some baby books within the next few days. I recently went with Clarice and Louie to meet their Pediatrician Doc Enrico Ignacio, who is the first cousin of one of my very good friends and classmate in college, Monina Ignacio. And isa sa mga bilin n'ya ang basahan ng maraming books (specially by the parents) si baby Catrice for her brain development. 

Siyempre, I will make sure this is done because I have prayed for several months for my apo to be beautiful inside out, intelligent, and God-fearing.

10. Meet with the doctors.

Speaking of meeting with my apo's Pediatrician, I also made sure I went with Clarice to one of her OB consultations so I can meet and talk with her. Call me a stage Lolabelle, but this to me is very important. Kumpiyansa, 'ika nga. I have to feel confident kung kanino ko ie-entrust ang buhay ng anak at apo ko.

So ayan, mga Nan-sis! Ano ulit ang napi-feel ko right at this very moment? Nervous! Excited! Stressed! Tired! But sooooooo looking forward na! 

Eto na ang JOWA ko! (How I wish next time yung true jowa na "Ayuda One" na ang i-bo-blog ko!)

Until then! Catch you later!

Nancy Mommy