Becoming a SingleD Lola

By Nancy D. Galang, M.A.

"As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than your original plan. That's what we call God's will."  - Author Unknown

In my last blog, one of the lessons I wrote about was allowing God to surprise us. Indeed, just a few weeks back, God surprised me - and the rest of the G Skwad, with a wonderful gift.

Let me share what the great surprise is with you, my dear Nan-sis (Nanay-sisters)...

(Drumroll please!!!) The SingleD mom is now going to be a SingleD LOLA!!!

Yes, one of my daughters is infanticipating!  And you are finding out about this at the same time as my parents and my siblings!

Nastassia, my second daughter, is accidentally (and surprisingly) pregnant. I do not really cherish the thought (not yet anyway) of being called a Lola, a Grandma or a Granny, but having a baby in the family is something that makes me hopeful and even more eager to look forward to the future.

Nastassia, my second daughter, first made me a
mom, then a LOLA!

For the first time in three months, while we all face so much uncertainty amidst Covid 19 - something certain is happening for the G Skwad.

However, I have mixed feelings. A part of me feels like wanting to delay this event in her life, until she has experienced working. After all, she just graduated from college last year and has not really experienced having a job. Her job hunting was caught in the middle of the economic crisis brought about by this pandemic.

Isa pa, I would have preferred that she has gotten to know her boyfriend a little bit longer. They have been boyfriend and girlfriend for only a few months. How I wish also that she is mature enough for this new chapter in her life.

Higit sa lahat, hindi pa ako talaga ready na matawag na LOLA! (Nagsisimula pa lang ako magdalaga!!!)

But then if we were all so prepared for this, then it wouldn't be a surprise from God! This is really ALLOWING Him to surprise me!

Ganun talaga. Life doesn't always turn out the way we planned it. Things happen to us in God's perfect time, not when WE choose it.  In fact, a friend once told me, things do not happen TO us, but FOR us.

Any parent wishes for their children to have a
 more or less ideal life.

I would have wished a more or less ideal life for all my children in this order:

a) finish their studies

b) become professionals

c) enjoy being single

d) find "the one," then plan an ideal wedding and get married.

Pero s’yempre, the other side of all these is naisip ko rin noon ang mga possible scenarios na puwede mangyari sa mga anak kong babae. Getting pregnant while still being single is one of the possibilities.

Hindi naman ako makalumang SingleD mom na magagalit pa sa ganitong sitwasyon, lalo na andyan na 'yan. Hindi rin naman ako sang-ayon na kapag nabuntis ay dapat nang magpakasal.

I have always told my girls, there is no need to get married when you get pregnant.

Conversations with my girls normally include 
telling them that once they get pregnant, they DO NOT have to get married. 

Let me just share with you... I was pressured to get married because I was pregnant. Not really by my parents, but I guess it was more of what was expected during our time.

But maybe if I was wiser and had to choose again, I would have delayed it until I was very sure of what I wanted.  Anyway, it has been 3 more babies and decades after. No regrets at all.

Ang point ko lang, any girl who gets pregnant shouldn’t have to think that her life stops there. Yes, things may be stalled a bit. But what is nine months of postponing all your plans? When you have the rest of your life to pursue them?

I became who I wanted to be even after having one kid after the other.  You can still do the same, be a great mom, be a great wife, while at the same time have a career or pursue what you want for your own self-development and growth.

  I became who I wanted to be even after having one kid after the other. 

Of course I had a few mother-to-daughter conversations with Nastassia. I asked her, is this something you want? Did you actually see yourself as a young mom, and perhaps housewife, maybe for the next few years?

When I found out Nastassia was pregnant, 
I had mother-to-daughter conversations with her. 

And her answer was YES. And as her mom, that is all I need to hear. She is happy, I am happy.

So, there is no need to be sad about it coming when you are not ready - or when you do not want it yet. Again, things happen FOR us and everything happens for a reason.

For Nastassia, I would like to think that this baby will give her a firm direction in life and inspire her to be a better person.

Of course, I did not let her and her boyfriend off the hook so easily. I told them another life lesson which I also mentioned in my previous blog, that we have to be accountable for our actions and decisions.

I shared with them that it is not easy to be parents. And that hindi na ang isa’t isa lang ang priority nila. The needs of their baby will have to be on top.

That is why when I see Nastassia crying because of an argument with her boyfriend, I am quick to tell her that if it’s petty, then do not pursue it. That she has to be more mature in handling their relationship because greater challenges of motherhood await her!

The thought of my baby being a mom herself has not sinked in.

Anong klaseng mommy kaya si Nastassia? I have raised her to be a sweet, loving, and simple person. The thought of my baby being a mom herself still has not sinked in. But as soon as I go back to my own experience as a first-time mom, I just know that she will learn the ropes like most of the mothers I know, once the baby is there.

If my daughter tries her best to be the BEST MOM
she could be, that is good enough for me.

And like me, I hope she will turn out to be responsible and will try her best to be the best mom she could ever be.  'Yun lang, sapat na para sa akin!

Anong klaseng Tito at mga Tita kaya sina Nix, Nadja at Rocky? The thought of seeing this other side of them already excites me.

What kind of a Tito and Titas would they be
to our new G Skwad baby?

Higit sa lahat, ano kayang klaseng SingleD Lola ako?  As the cool mom that I am, maybe I will also be a cool Lola. Definitely a spoiler. I will leave the disciplining to the parents. Dahil di pa din ako tapos d’yan. 

As the cool mom that I am, maybe I will also be
a cool SingleD LOLA.

What do I want my apo to call me? Definitely not Lola.  Bigyan n’yo muna po ako ng time na mag-isip (at tanggapin ang katotohanan na LOLA na nga ako!)

Do I want a boy or a girl? Hmmm. Maski ano basta healthy.

What kind of a person will my apo be?

What will he/she become when she grows up?

What will he/she look like?  Definitely cute and good looking!

Amidst all these questions, definitely, this new G Skwad member is one reason to celebrate and be happy about! Indeed, if you open yourself up for God's best plan in your life, then He will take course of your life and give you many wonderful surprises!

The G Skwad is pregnant!!!

  So my dear Nan-sis, please pray for a safe pregnancy for the G Skwad!

I can't wait to meet my apo, the newest member of the G Skwad!

Until then! Catch you later!

Nancy Mommy