Musings (of a Singled mom) at 4am
By Nancy David Galang I lie awake at 4am. My mind ever so active. Thinking. Just always thinking. Sadness creeps in as it usually does when all my kids are fast and deeply asleep, including Amara, my dear apo who is sleeping like a little angel beside me. I am just thinking. Random thoughts just keep coming. What could my dad be doing right this moment? Does he miss all of us, the way me, my siblings, my mom, and his friends, miss him? I knew he wanted to live for at least 5 more years. What else did he want to do in those five years? Did I make my dad proud? What would he have said to me for the last time if he had the chance? I am sure I would have wanted to tell him "Thank you. I love you. I am nothing without you." Paulit-ulit. Sabay mahigpit na yakap. Will this feeling of sadness end? Or as my friends who have lost someone close to them have said: "It won't, but you will get used to it." Pero, paano ka masasanay sa ganito kasak...