When It's Time to Give Back

By Nancy David Galang, M.A.

"At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or what you've accomplished, it's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better, it's about what you've given back." - 

Denzel Washington

There was probably a time when some of you found yourselves in bad situations and you needed help in order to survive your day. 

Minsan kahit maliit na problema lang, pero kailangan mo ng magpapalakas ng loob mo. Of course lalo na kapag malaki ang kinakaharap mo tapos biglang nalusutan mo na pala nang di mo namamalayan kasi may tumulong at dumamay. Sinamahan ka. 

There was a guardian angel who saved  you. Getting you out of that bad situation and helping you overcome that problem to survive that day.

And when this angel comes along, you will never forget the good deed he/she did to you. You will be forever grateful.

I am blessed to encounter such people in my life. Karamihan mga kaibigan ko. Minsan kapamilya. 

One of them was my Dad. The other one, my Mom. 

Ang nanay kong artistahin. Sabi niya 
ako ang kamukha niya. Sige, agree!!!

Mga nanay natin ang una nating nasilayan as soon as we were given the blessing to be alive. Sila ang nagdala sa atin at nagluwal. At higit sa lahat, sila ang nagpa-dodo sa atin! 

(note: This applies to dads, who, for one reason or another, also assumed the mommy role)

Ang mga nanay din natin ang nagbibihis sa atin. Ang Mommy ko, mahilig manahi. Practical na, creative pa! I remember wearing a jumper she has sewn for me for my kinder Christmas party. 

Then bathing suits for me and my sisters when we would go for a swim doon sa "ilog" kung tawagin namin, somewhere in Cavite. This was until I was around Grade 4, when I started picking my own clothes. 

Ang Mommy ko din ang lagi kong kasama pumila tuwing mag-eenrol. Hanggang first year college. Until marunong na akong mag-arrange ng school sked ko mag-isa at ako na lang ang pumipila tuwing enrollment. 

Me and my sisters: (from L to R) Ning, Neri,
me and Noemi, wearing our "kurtina" swimsuits
sewn by mom. Kurtina ang tawag namin kasi pang-kurtina ang cloth, such that pag-umahon ka,
nalalaglag siya sa bigat!

Siyempre, siya din ang tumutulong sa akin sa assignments ko. When I was in grade school, I remember her getting mad at me kasi kinukulit ko siya na tapusin na namin ang assignments ko, kasi gusto ko puro laro na lang ang gawin ko after. Kaya at that time, hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagalit. Kasi ako naman, nagfi-feeling na ang sipag ko at dapat matuwa ang nanay ko. 

Being the youngest among the four girls
 (we were 9 all in all), I was close to my mom since lahat ng mga Ate ko nag-asawa na at ako ang
naiwan sa bahay with my youngest brother Neil. 

But --- she was doing chores while helping me with my assignments. And on top of that, remind ko lang kayo, mga Nan-sis, na 9 kaming magkakapatid! She was also a grade school teacher for many years. So, until I became a mom myself, noon ko lang naintindihan why she told me, "Bakit ba nagmamadali ka na tapusin 'yan?" Kasi pala, super busy siya at nakapila ang gawaing bahay at iba pang responsibilidad.

I remember watching my mom put on make-up
nang madalas nung maliit pa ako. She was also
a very dressy woman, in short maarte kagaya ko. 

Lagi din akong bitbit ng Mommy ko sa Munoz market sa Project 8. And as little as I was, she would explain to me kung paano pumili ng fresh na baboy, manok, prutas, gulay. Then medyo tagabitbit na din ako ng traditional na abaca bayong.

Siyempre, there was Thriftway, this grocery along Edsa North, where, while she was going around getting our groceries I would choose to be left in the toy section. Walang mintis, lagi akong may nakasingit na doll everytime sa grocery cart niya. On top of that, tatahian pa niya ng mga damit ang dolls ko. Di lang isa, madami! Puwede mag-change wardrobe! 

Mom is now based in Villa Anita, Lipa Batangas.
This is a private resort where dad built a vacation
house for us and named it after her.

Of course, Mommy ko rin ang nag-aasikaso kapag may classmates ako sa bahay tuwing may tinatapos kaming group report or nagpa-practice for a play or something.  I remember how she would prepare full meals (and even merienda) so we can eat during breaks. At ang dami namin! Thank you Mom!

High school naman ako when my Mom told me, Nancy may mga guwapong nagka-caroling sa baba, tara! Haha. To make a long story short, kunsintidora ang nanay ko pagdating sa lovelife.

We were so close that pag may bad breakup ako, I would read my love letters for my ex (na gusto ko pa balikan) to her, so I can make sure tama ang mga choice of words ko. Baka lang sakaling balikan pa ako e. 

Until I got married and had kids. 

She was there to teach me Motherhood 101 when I had my first baby - Nicolette or as we fondly called her, Colet (who later preferred to be called Nix). 

My mom, with my eldest daughter
Nix na madalas ko ipa-babysit sa
kanya because I was working and
sometimes had no yaya.

Right after I gave birth, we went straight home to my parents house and stayed in my room for the first week. Of course, this made my first taste of "nanayhood" a lot easier. 

She gave me this book "What to Expect During the First Year" which really helped me get by as a first time mom --- na feeling ko, shu-shunga-shunga pa 'ko at walang alam (I am currently looking for this book to give to Nastassia as well). 

In the years that followed, I had 3 more kids down the line. Siyempre, Mom's house was my daycare center when my kids' yayas would leave and I had to be at work.

Siyempre, takbuhan din si Madir kapag may marriage problems ako. Pero noon pa po 'yun, now I am alone and (stress) free. 

Hanggang ngayon, my Mom is still there for my kids and me. Laging nangungumusta even when she is now based in Lipa. We'd do video calls once in a while, PM-PM pag may time. Hehe. She is a Lola techie, for your information. 

The G Skwad with their Lola Nita (her bed is
the usual hangout)

There was one time when I deactivated my Facebook account kasi may pinagdadaanan lang ako at gusto ko lang muna manahimik. Kaso ang mommy ko hindi naman matahimik kung bakit gusto ko daw manahimik? Gets n'yo ba? Haha. So the point is, she is still a doting mother, and still so much concerned kahit na matatanda na kami at (dapat) kaya na namin ang aming mga sarili. 

Masuwerte ako na at my age I still have my Mom around. When I lost my Dad, naintindihan ko na ang pakiramdam ng lahat ng mga anak who lost a parent while they were still young. Perhaps worse than what I am feeling. Or perhaps the pain is all the same.

With the man she married four times, my Dad.

 

Anita and Noli,
married October 18, 1958

Now my Mom is 85 and will turn 86 this July. Marami na siyang nararamdaman na masakit sa katawan niya. She can hardly walk. But I should say, sharp pa din siya. (Updated nga sa FB and mas-madalas pa sa akin mag-post!)

This Mother's day I am blessed to be with her. 

For the past two days, we have been catching up and sabi niya, gusto niya na lagi siyang may kausap. She talks about how she gets depressed at times. Madalas din, how she wants to go na at wala na siyang purpose sa buhay. Gusto na daw niya makita at makasama si Dad. 'Yan ang recurring theme. (Ma 'wag ka muna magparamdam please!)

My mom loves pets. We grew up
with a lot of dogs and now she is 
into cats. 

Pero nababanggit din niya how blessed she is to be taken cared of by her children. (Her caregiver was dismissed recently. Applicants welcome!)

Specifically, there is my brother Nelson, who decided to retire here in the Philippines from San Francisco, so he could take care of her and sana nga noon, kasama sa plano ang pag-alaga niya full time sa Daddy. Then there's my sis Neri who is partially based in Lipa. 

With my brother Nelson and my sister Neri,
mom's constant companions now in Lipa. 

I always wanted the chance to do the same. And now na wala siyang caregiver, I am happy --- honored and privileged to take care of my Mom. Natapat pa na Mother's Day. 

Hindi pala madali ang gumising almost every 2 hours during the night. I have to assist mom going to the comfort room every so often. Then there are her kwentos, which I love to listen to, pero minsan sa sobrang antok, nakakatulugan ko na din. Pero habang groggy ako while giving her what she needs - like her 3 tablets (yes three tablets as in Ipads! Isa daw for FB, isa for playing music, and the other one is my dad's which she chooses to just be close by) and her cellphone, her glass of water when she coughs, her Strepsils or Valda Pastilles right after, bigla kong maaalala, she had endless sleepless nights 9 times over --- changing our lampins na lalabhan pa niya kinabukasan, breastfeeding us, putting us to sleep, comforting us when we're sick, at iba pa yung mga emote-emote namin sa kanya nung malalaki na kami --- e wala! Walang panama ang effort mo Nancy! 

Gaya ng lahat sa atin, we do realize that there is a time to give back. Ang suklian ang mga tao who once helped us when we needed it the most. Ako, may listahan na kung sino-sino sila.  

And sana magawa natin ang giving back na ito while they are still alive. And while we are still alive and able.

One of my mom's hobbies na hindi ko namana
 (kasi this really takes a lot of patience) is
crocheting. She has done bed covers, curtains,
coasters, etc.

Mom also draws and paints. Isa 'yan sa mga
talents niya that some of her apos got from her. 

Hindi din naman laging kailangan na sa guardian angel din natin ibalik.  We can give back and help others who might also need us at one point in time. Be a blessing to others ang madalas sabihin. Alam n'yo, hindi n'yo talaga alam what it means to those who you will help. I've been there. I've gotten plenty of help one way or the other. I know how it feels. 

Kaya mga Nan-sis, while we still can, let us give back. Let us do something good to those who once did good to us and perhaps even saved us, even for just one day in our lives. 

Ano pa kaya kung para sa mga nanay natin? We owe our lives to them. It's time to give back. As soon as you can, as much as you can. And while you still can. 

Until then! Catch you later!

Nancy Mommy