51 Life Lessons from a SingleD Mom

51 Life Lessons from a SingleD Mom

By Nancy D. Galang, M.A.

Hello, my dear Nan-sis (Nanay-sisters)! It’s my birthday on June 2, and since I will be turning 51 (shhhh…) I would like to share with you 51 life lessons I have learned and tried to apply in my daily living. 

But before that, I have a surprise for you! Please read till the end to know how you can WIN A SPECIAL PRIZE from me!

Ok, here’s Part 1, the first 24 lessons.  I hope you take away a few ones with you!

1. Pray every morning and every night. (Napaka-simple, napakaimportante.)

Sa umaga, I thank God for another day, ask Him to guide me, my children, and all my loved ones. Sa gabi, nagpapasalamat ulit ako. This is how I get inner peace.

My quiet time (prayer time) corner in  the house.

2. Listen to your parents.  Lalo na tungkol sa career, lovelife, at family life mo. (More often than not, tama sila.)

When I was younger, kapag gusto ko ang isang bagay or tao, I follow my heart. Now that I am singleD, I realized my parents disliked some of my suitors because they wanted the best for me. So now, when it comes to my children, I also seek their advice.

3. Be friends with your children.

This makes the task of guiding them easier because they will be more open to you about their dreams, hopes, fears, and failures.

More often than not, your parents are right.

4. Enjoy your moments.

I learned to be more present when I am with my family and friends. By doing so, the experience becomes more enjoyable and meaningful.

5. Work hard and let God do the rest. (Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa.)

Sa lahat ng bagay, no matter how big the challenges are, I always tell myself na magtrabaho lang akong mabuti... God will do the rest for me. So far, so good.

Work hard and let God do the rest.
(during a contract signing with a publishing house)

6. When confronted with a problem, don't panic. (Hinga nang malalim, then magdasal.)

At the onset of my separation, I would have anxiety attacks. But as I grew to accept my situation, I learned to be more calm in facing my challenges.

7. Do not worry. Worry is different from legitimate concern. (Hindi naman mawawala ang problema sa kaka-worry.)

Problems come and go. Even if we worry about them, hindi naman mawawala or maso-solve. So it's okay to pay attention to it only for a certain time, then analyze it and come up with possible solutions.

8. Do not focus on the problem, rather, be solution-oriented.

Kapag may problema, I make sure I am pro-active in coming up with a solution.  Focusing on the problem depletes our energy to the point that we can no longer focus on how to solve it.

I learned to be more calm in facing my problems and challenges.

9. Learn to surrender every aspect of your life to God and everything will be OK. (May mga bagay na di na kaya ng powers natin.)

When I was younger, feeling ko, parang kaya ko lahat solusyunan. But as I grew older and more trials were thrown my way, I recognized that there's a God who is more powerful than any of us.

10. Love yourself so that you can also love others genuinely.

When you love, love hard and give it more than your 100 percent.

Kung uunahin mong pagtuunan ng atensyon ang iyong mga pangangailangan, you will become a happy person. And kapag masaya ka, maibibigay mo ang tunay na pagmamahal sa iba.

11. When you love, love hard. Give it more than your 100 percent. (Pero kapag wala pa ding nangyari, dapat alam mo kung kelan ka titigil.)

I am not happy that my marriage did not work, but don't have regrets because I know that I fought for it with all that I had. And when it was time to let go, I did it with full trust in God that the battle was no longer mine.

12. Marriage should leave room for mistakes. (Huwag lang paulit-ulit. Kapag inuulit, di na 'yun mistake.)

Nobody is perfect and I think that all kinds of relationships should give allowances for wrongdoings or failures. If your partner is willing to change then I think dapat lang na bigyan ng second chance.

13. True love forgives. (Kung ang Diyos nga nagpapatawad, tayo pa kaya?)

Genuine love always forgives. Sabi nga sa Bible, "It does not keep a record of wrongs." Kung di ka kaya patawarin, siguro hindi enough ang pagmamahal to begin with.

14. Letting go of a relationship is hard, but it is harder to stay in it when it no longer works.

There will come a point na kahit anong gawin natin, hindi na maayos ang isang relationship.  When this happens, we must learn to accept, and this is the first step in letting go.

15. Do not make any decision when you're emotional.

Magpahupa muna ng emosyon at kapag kalma na, then you can make a better decision.

16. Some people come to your life to teach you a lesson, but do not always stay. (Ito 'yung parang soulmate natin pero hindi natin makakatuluyan.)

Meron kang magiging ka-close na parang nagkakaintindihan kayong mabuti. But these are people na ipapadala lang sa 'yo ng Diyos to teach you a life lesson, then darating sa point na you will both move forward without each other.

17. It's okay to love from a distance. (When you think of him or her, sabi nga sa movie na “Eat, Pray, Love," send love, then drop it.)

It's okay to love from a distance. 

With all the relationships I had, I learned that not everybody na mahalin mo ay meant na makasama mo. So tuwing nami-miss ko ang greatest love ko, I say a prayer for him, wish him happiness, then I feel better.

18. When you fall, always find strength to get back up. (Hindi ibig sabihin na nadapa ka ay di ka na makakabangon.)

Lahat tayo ay nagkakamali. When this happens, there is no other way but to get back up and try again. The act of trying is success in itself.

19. Never stop dreaming and setting your goals no matter how many times you fail. 

Kapag natupad mo ang isang target mo, continue to set goals pa rin para lagi ka lang ganado sa buhay mo. Kung mahirap man abutin ang isang goal, just think that you have a whole lifetime to achieve it!

20. Choose your battles. (Hindi lahat ng gusto kang kalabanin ay lalabanan mo at hindi lahat ng laban ay papatulan mo.)

Since I am a very busy person, I devote my time and energy to battles that I think are worth fighting for. I have encountered people na war freaks and they seem to have too much time in their hands para manira at mang-away, pero hindi ko na ito pinag-aaksayahan ng panahon.

21. Have your own definition of success. (This will be your personal measuring stick.)

I can call myself successful na kapag naitaguyod ko mabuti ang mga anak ko to be good people, at kapag napagtapos ko silang lahat ng pag-aaral. Maaaring kayo ay may ibang sukatan ng success.

I can call myself successful kapag naitaguyod
ko mabuti ang mga anak ko to be good people.

22. Do not compare yourself or your life to others. (Ito ang pinagsisimulan ng inggit at kawalan ng contentment.)

Some people will always be better than you. Just stay in your own path, walk your own journey and know where you're headed. 

23. Be humble enough to seek help from other people. If they love you, they will be there for you. (Dito mo malalaman kung sino ang tunay mong kaibigan.)

When I hit rock bottom in my life, I learned that there are a lot of people with big hearts. And if they can, they would be most willing to help those who need it.

Friends for life: Some of the friends I have chosen to keep:From Left to Right: Kathleen, me, Liza, and Camille. Theyhave been there through my ups and downs. 

24. Choose your friends. (Pati sa Facebook.)

Through my ups and downs, I learned who my real friends are. Minsan 'yung mga least expected pa ang maglalaglag sa 'yo. It has been a painful process, but I had to cut ties with these people - and I am happier without them. So feel free to unfriend. Whether sa FB o sa tunay na buhay.

So there, my Nan-sis, sana kahit konti may nakuha kayo which you can also apply in your lives.

Pero bago ko tapusin ito, I told you may treat ako para sa inyo as part of my birthday celebration!  Ang first 50 readers who'll do the following will get one exclusive "SingleD Mug-Isa" mug:

 1. LIKE and SHARE this blog entry.

 2. PM me screenshot ng pag-share sa FB wall n'yo. (This is important.)

Pipili din ako ng one (1) winner to receive another special gift para sa pinaka-favorite ko ang comment simula nung una ko pang blog.

O ano pang inaantay n’yo, click those buttons!

Until then Catch you later!

Nancy Mommy