SingleD and Grateful

SingleD and Grateful

By Nancy D. Galang, M.A.

"The struggle ends when the gratitude begins." - Neale Donald Walsh

                              

When I became singleD, I learned to practice the attitude of being grateful.

It’s been nine weeks of lockdown and now it has been extended in some areas for another two weeks.  No matter how we call it – General Community Quarantine (GCQ), Modified Enhanced Community Quarantine (MECQ), or simply Enhanced Comminuty Quarantine (ECQ), this situation has left many of us feeling frustrated and anxious. At ngayon ay dumanas pa ng bagyo ang ibang parte ng Pilipinas.

Alam kong sa ganitong panahon, iba’t ibang klaseng problema ang dinadaanan ng bawat isa sa atin. Iba’t iba rin ang gravity.  Pero may isang bagay na subok ko na which helped me face my problems.

And that is being GRATEFUL.

How can we adapt the attitude of being thankful and appreciative despite the many trials in our lives?

LOOK THE OTHER WAY

When I became singleD, I learned to always look the other way.  I looked at the brighter side of things. And right now while in quarantine, I look at the moments that I can cherish, rather than the moments I am missing out on.

The first thing I was thankful for was my two jobs (as a manager in a  television network and as a teacher in college) which I have mentioned  in my previous blogs. I thought 'yung iba nga walang trabaho, pero ako meron at dalawa pa.  Minsan nga, when I was lucky, may extra-rakets pa ako.

While I was left alone to take care of all the financial
needs of my children, I decided to look the other
way: I had 2 jobs and rakets!

I am still blessed that I still have my job, now in a work-from-home (WFH) arrangement.  Many of our less-fortunate kababayans have lost their sources of income in a snap.

And although sometimes it is harder to keep my focus on work because of the usual mommy chores in the house, I am still thankful that this set up allows me to be with my children. 'Yung iba sa atin, they miss their children, siblings or parents who are frontliners. Some of them have even lost their loved ones due to COVID-19.

Shouldn’t you be happy and thankful that the husband or wife that you used to miss very much because he/she was always at work is now with you? At nakakabawi kayo ngayon sa mga oras na feeling n'yo laging nawawala noon?

And the same goes with our kids. Halos buong araw sila nasa school noong hindi tayo naka-quarantine.  Some, like my two children, Nadja and Rocky, I used to see only on weekends. Nix was also working and was based abroad. Now, in this quarantine, we have time to talk, play, and simply be present with each other. 

Some of the things to be grateful for this quarantine
are those moments I get to spend with my children. 

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

It may sound really cliché, but this has been very effective to me as I faced major trials. Looking the other way means looking at what you have rather than not what you don’t have. 

When my marriage failed, I looked at all the other things that were working well in my life.  I may have lost one relationship, but I was blessed with other good ones--with my family, friends, colleagues, and most of all, my children.

One of my blessings: Having a close relationship
with my parents (Nita and Noli).

APPRECIATE THE SIMPLER THINGS

When I was still with my ex-husband, life felt more complicated and emotionally draining.  Problems seemed magnified that I failed to appreciate the simpler things around me. But when I became singleD, I learned to focus on the more valuable things in life.

  

This quarantine has many of us pondering about what really matters in life. I know you would agree with me that these are: family, friends, food, shelter, and health.

Family, who some of us miss because we are not with them. We used to take for granted visiting and talking with our parents and siblings.  Now I found myself looking forward to Sunday mornings when we would do video group calls.                               

Friends, who we also rarely see because we managed to just say no to their invitations to hang out because we were tired or busy with other things. Now I found myself more involved in group chats with my friends and former classmates.

I may have lost my marriage, but I have good
relationships with my colleagues, friends,
and classmates. Above: With my classmates
from Grade School (From L to R: Loida, Arlene,
Carina, Agnes and Dante)

Food, which we also have taken for granted because we wake up  each morning knowing we'd have three or more meals that day. But seeing reports of our kababayans in long queue, risking their lives (as they forget to observe social distancing), for their ayuda just makes me thankful that my family has been sustained each day with food on our table.

Shelter, which, more than anything, serves as our shield and protection while battling COVID-19.  Imagine life without it?

And last but not the least, health. To be healthy specially amidst the onset of Covid 19 is real wealth. That's why I am grateful that I am healthy and I take care of myself now more than ever.

Good physical condition, sound mind and
emotional wellness are aspects of my health that I
make sure I take care of.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

When I became singleD, gusto ko i-fast forward ang oras at mga araw. But we all know that it is not possible. So I kept the “one day at a time” attitude of living my life. No more big plans. I was thankful kapag na-survive ko ang isang araw.  Not really just financially, but also mentally and emotionally.

I realized, mabuti nga nagigising ako at buhay pa. Healthy and able. So each morning, I say a prayer of gratitude and ask God to keep me and my loved ones safe until the end of the day.  

My "one-day-at-a-time" helped me
face the major trial of losing my marriage.

And guess what? That “one day at a time” attitude has taken me to where I am now. A few years after the separation, I can say that I'm doing great!

Kaya in the middle of this quarantine, let us be thankful that we still wake up each day!

LOOK FORWARD

What kept me moving forward right after I became singleD was knowing that more exciting things are yet to come! I was thankful that I had a future to look forward to. 

Back then, when we found ourselves renting and without our own house, I looked forward to one day having our own place. Perhaps bigger and nicer than our old house. That day came last year, July 21, when we were able to move to our own house. 

Blessed with a new home, a dream come true.

That is just one of the many things I looked forward to that seemed far-fetched, yet my faith kept me hoping and dreaming that one day it will be granted.

Madami pa pong ibang biyaya ang ibinigay sa aming mag-iina, pero this entry will become too long kung iisa-isahin ko pa.

So yes, we will not be in this situation forever. We can look forward to going out to a COVID-19-free environment. We can once again visit our loved ones who have been quarantined somewhere else. We can go to malls, watch movies, eat out in our favorite restaurants, have coffee with friends – and more.

Looking forward to exciting things that
are yet to come. 

Believe me, matatapos din ito. After this, we will come out better, stronger, and more grateful!

Until then! Catch you later!

Nancy Mommy