51 Life Lessons from a SingleD Mom: Part 2

51 Life Lessons from a SingleD Mom: Part 2

By Nancy D. Galang, M.A.

Allow God to surprise you.

Hello mga Nan-sis (Nanay-sisters)! So here's Part 2 of my 51 favorite life lessons series I started last week. And yes, if you didn't LIKE and SHARE this blog last time, DO IT NOW and GET A FREE EXCLUSIVE "SINGLED" MUG from me! (Don't forget to PM me the screenshot ng pag-share n'yo.) 

Meantime, enjoy reading another 27 life lessons from me.

1)    Read the bible and other self-help books. 

I love reading books that will help me improve. And the Holy Bible is the ultimate guide in my daily life.

2)    Write journals.

Ang pagsusulat ng journal (where I can write memorable events and important feelings) is a helpful practice para sa akin. This helps me process my thoughts and feelings. 

My daily practice: Writing on my journal. 

3)    Pray like a little child.

Sabi nila, when you want something really, really bad, humiling daw tayo kay God na parang isang maliit na bata and have faith na di N'ya tayo bibiguin.

4)    Honor your father and mother.

Our parents may not be perfect, but no matter what happens, wala tayo dito sa mundo kung di dahil sa kanila. That’s why I really believe na anuman ang mangyari, we should respect and love our parents. In my case, I have been lucky to have such wonderful and loving parents. 

Honor your father and mother, though they
may not be perfect. 

5).   Set good examples to your children. (This is one of our responsibilities bilang magulang.)

As parents, we should always be aware of our actions and think that our kids are always watching us. So it is best that we make sure to try to do what is right.

6)    Give time to your kids.  (Sometimes we work so hard to provide for our children that we miss the whole point.)

Have you actually stopped to ask if you are giving them enough time? Oras mula sa atin ang number one na kailangan ng mga anak natin. 'Yung oras na makikinig lang tayo nang buong-buo sa kanila. Makikinig sa mga tagumpay nila, lalo na mga problema. Yung oras na magtatawanan lang kayo.

I always try my best to be a good example to my children. 

7)    Pray for those who hurt you. 

Di natin maiiwasan na may mga taong makakasakit sa atin. When this happens, gusto natin mag-retaliate. But I have learned that praying for that person to be enlightened, as well praying for myself to be the bigger person, has helped me maintain peaceful relations with people.

8)    Give yourself time to forgive. (Kahit mahirap gawin.)

Alam nating lahat na mahirap itong gawin lalo na kung malaki ang kasalanan sa atin ng taong iyon.  So, it is OK to take your time, but always guard yourself in prayer so that your anger does not turn into hatred.

9)    Give yourself time to grieve.

When you lose someone, iyakan mo hanggang meron ka pang luha. Mauubos din yan at mapapagod ka rin.  Darating na lang ang isang araw na you will tell yourself “Tama na ang kahibangan na ‘to!”

When you lose someone, give yourself time to grieve.

10) Do not be quick to judge others.

I have always believed that there is more to people than what I see or hear. Kaya I am not one to quickly judge others. Lalo na kung may ginawa o sinabi na hindi maganda tungkol sa atin.  Bago ako mag-react, I try to analyze where they are coming from.

11) Always be sensitive to others.

Hindi mo alam kung ano ang pinagdadaanan ng bawat tao na makakasalamuha natin kaya dapat lagi tayong aware sa kanilang feelings. Be careful what we tell them and how we say it.

12) There are many ways to help other people.

Ang pagtulong sa kapwa ay di lamang laging monetary or pagbibigay ng materyal na bagay. Aside from these, I learned that we can help others by inspiring them, listening to them, and encouraging them.

13) Find out what makes you happy and if you can, give it to yourself.

Na-mention ko sa previous blogs ko that when I became singleD, it was hard for me to determine what would make me happy. Ngayon, unti-unti ko itong na di-discover, and when I do, I try my best to give it to myself. After all, tayo lang naman ang puwede magbigay nito sa mga sarili natin. If meron mang ibang tao who can give you some of your happiness, then well and good, ang haba ng hair mo, Nan-sis.

Know what makes you happy and make sure you get it. 

14)    Give yourself a chance. (Do not be too hard on yourself.)

Let us recognize what we are good at and accept those things na talagang mahina tayo (malay mo, meron pa namang pagkakataon na matutunan din natin ang bagay na ‘yun). So if you fail at some things, please give yourself a chance.

15)    Never give up. (Fight lang nang fight!)

In my own life, itong practice na ito ay very effective sa akin. A lot of times I am scared to death when I am confronted with problems kasi nga mag-isa lang ako (di ko lang pinapahalata kasi nagma-maganda ako), pero never akong umatras o sumuko sa maski anong laban.

16)    A better life starts with a decision.

I once felt that I was in a rut, parang di ako umuusad at ang bagal ng progress sa buhay ko. Pero marami akong goals and dreams na gusto makamit. There were people who were not really supportive. Pero one day, I thought, I cannot allow someone to keep pulling me down; that it all depends on me. So I simply made the decision that I want a better life for me and my children. And we did.

Living a better life with my children. 

17)    Good looks fades, while a good heart only gets better with time.

Kung maibabalik ko lang ang panahon at papapiliin ako between guwapo at kabaitan, dun ako sa mabait. Siyempre pogi points din kung masipag at responsible, because these traits are the ones that will last.

18)  Fighting for your relationship, especially your marriage, is all good. But make sure that you also leave room for self-preservation and self-respect.

Ito ang matagal ko bago natutuhan. Sa kagustuhan kong ipaglaban ang marriage ko, laban to death yata ang ginawa ko hanggang muntik na mawala ang respeto ko sa sarili ko. Kaya, mga Nan-sis, kapag naibigay mo na lahat, sana huwag mo na i-push to the point na mawawala na ang dignidad mo bilang tao.

19) Do not take anything for granted.  (Appreciate what you have.)

I keep myself aware that what I have now, I may not have tomorrow.  There was a point in my life when I lost my house, my car, and my job.  Siyempre, kaya nga ako singleD, I also lost my marriage. Kaya please take good care and enjoy what you have now.

20)  The love that you lost will come back to you in many different forms.

Ang lahat ng nawala sa 'yo, sabi nila babalik sa ’yo ng tenfold. Kung may tao man o relationship na nawala sa ’yo, babalik din daw (oops, teka 'wag kayo agad ma-excite), pero in a different form. It can be love from other people. Or your love for yourself and being content even if you are alone.

Fight for your relationship as much as you can,
but make sure to leave room for self-preservation. 

21)   Be accountable for your own decisions. (Walang sisihan.)

When we make a decision and we end up making a mistake, no one will be accountable for it but you.  So lahat po ng pasukin natin, alalahanin natin na tayo lang din ang gagawa ng paraan para ito ay malabasan. That’s why we should think hard before making a decision.

22)  Do not be a people pleaser. (Matutong maging dedma sa mga iniisip ng ibang tao.)

Not everybody will like you or what you do.  Stop analyzing why, but I believe mayroon lang talagang mga tao na ayaw sa ’yo kahit wala kang ginagawang masama.  So, if I were you, for as long as you are not doing anything wrong and you are not hurting anybody, just go on and mind your own business.

23)  Smile though your heart is aching. (Yes,‘yan po ay galing sa kanta ni Charlie Chaplin.)

I honestly believe that trying your best to smile even if mabigat ang kalooban natin actually helps you even for that moment only.  Isa pa, hindi ka magkaka-wrinkles.  Sa totoo lang po, when I was going though the storm in my marriage, marami ang di nakahalata. Why? Because I chose to smile as much as I can.

Smile, though your heart is aching.

24) Hindi ka nag-iisa kahit SingleD ka.

Sa nilaki-laki ng mundo at dinami-rami ng tao, I always think na isa lang akong napakaliit na tuldok dito.  Kaya hangga’t maaari, I do not capitalize on my problems. I realized, marami ding babaeng singleD and facing every struggle that I am facing. Some, even worse.  So I still keep a positive attitude as much as I can. 

     

25) Take time to be one with nature.

Looking at God’s creations reminds us that life is more than just the everyday hustle and bustle. Minsan, we forget the real purpose of our existence. Kaya ako, makakita lang ng view during a road trip, solved na ‘ko. After this, I feel refreshed at ready na ulit harapin ang pang-araw-araw na intindihin.

Do not forget the real purpose of our existence.
 

26) Make a list of things that you want to have.

Sa journal ko, I have a list of prayer requests from God. And then, from time to time, I go back to this list. Of course, God is so generous, kaya masaya ako when I get to put a check on those that have been granted. Doing this always excites me and inspires me to keep living and soldiering on, no matter what.

 27)  Allow God to surprise you.

I once asked my sister Neri how she copes up each day considering all her challenges. Sabi niya sa ’kin, I talk to God in the morning and tell Him to surprise me. And this makes her look forward to her whole day. Nice practice, don’t you think?

So there mga Nan-sis, I have completed the 51 life lessons that I live by as a singleD mom.  Remember, I still have the EXCLUSIVE "SINGLED" MUG which you can get for free if you like and share this blog.  

This mug can be yours for free if you like and
share my blog.

Until then. Catch you later!

Nancy Mommy