The Wapakels vs. the Dying Breed: A Tribute to my Daddy friends

"Dads are most ordinary men, turned by love into heroes, adventurers, storytellers, and singers of song." - Pam Brown

So it was the first Father's Day without my dad. 

Normally, my siblings and I would communicate days before to plan how we will celebrate these family occasions. This time, I knew that we all felt "nangungulila," remembering our dad quietly, sadly, and still wishing he was here so we can hug him and kiss him - and address to him the line "Happy Father's Day."  

This year I had only my male friends and brothers to greet.  

Somehow, greeting my daddy friends, who I believe are good fathers, made me feel a little better. Parang I see my dad in each of them. 

That was how I spent last week's Father's Day. Yes, my dear Nan-sis, this blog may seem to be a little late, pero talagang iniwasan ko ang mag-emote nung araw na 'yun kaya I did not write about my dad. 

Naisip ko lang, masayang malaman na maraming tatay ang gaya ng tatay ko sa maraming paraan. 

Anu-ano nga ba ang iba't ibang klaseng tatay? 

May daddy na istrikto, pero may daddy din na cool lang. Sa istrikto, madaming bawal, kahit pa sakop ka ng henerasyon ng Millenials o Gen Z. Dedma! His rules remain the same. May curfew, bawal ang mini-skirt or micro-shorts, bawal ang makipag-date until you reach a certain age, etc. etc.

Marc Funelas, works as an AVP for Marketing in a hospital and  father to Ax and Gaby and husband to Ching. He is a  good provider yet a very "present" and hands on dad. "Nung babies pa sila, puyat din ako, timpla ng gatas, paligo, palit diapers, etc. Now that they've grown up, I always check on them pag gabi, before I leave, ask how they are.". His favorite part about being a dad, spoilig his kids and giving them what they want. "Kapag meron, go. Pero pag wala, wala." 

Samantalang ang daddy na cool, perhaps okay lang na tumanggap ng mga manliligaw ang anak, basta makilala niya, at puwede niya barkadahin, in short puwede niya ring utuin para sumunod sa kanya at maprotektahan ang anak na babae. Reverse psychology at its finest! Pagdating naman sa anak na boys, tinuturuan pang manligaw and how to win girls, para cool din sila, perhaps like him when he was younger.

And usually, the stricter dads are also the ones who prefer not to show their emotions. Less malambing ang approach, more authoritative and disciplinarian. The cooler ones, mas showy, mas malambing. Ang approach, he can be your bestfriend (again, the reverse psychology approach to know everything about your kid). Mayroon din naman who balance both.

Neil Galang, my youngest brother, Head of Marketing for Vancouver Sign Group Sign and Print Solutions, is dad to Franco, and Xavier and stepdad to Justina and Kobe. 

His fathering style starts as a disciplinarian but when kids are old enough, he eases in into barkada approach. "I also set rules but there’s a huge explanation why they are set in place so that they don't follow blindly."

May daddies na workaholics at super hardworking, to the point perhaps of becoming an absentee dad. Ang kanyang dahilan, he is working hard for his wife and children. May mga tatay naman who know how to balance their time between work and family. Yung sakto lang ang pagkayod, kasi importante pa rin sa kanya ang mabigyan ng oras, makasama at ma-guide ang mga anak niya. May mga daddies din naman na full time stay-at-home, at si mommy ang nagwo-work (for some reason it is an agreed arrangement). At masaya sila sa set-up na hands on sila sa household at mga bata. They are the daddies who are also "housebands." 

Of course as a result, the dads who work so hard, are dads who are good providers. Yung nasa gitna naman, na sakto lang ang mga binibigay sa pamilya pagdating sa materyal na bagay, ang mga dads who value time more than the material things. Para sa kanila, as long as there is food on the table, nakakapag-aral ang mga anak, then okay na din.

Then there are the dads who are loyal. And I mean not just to his wife, but also to his kids. He believes that being faithful to his wife is a big factor in keeping his relationships with his kids. Kaya he remains loyal. Ito yung daddies na hindi gagawa ng kalokohan or hindi magloloko, kasi pinangangalagaan nila ang damdamin ng mga anak nila. Once, my friend said, "Never akong makikipaghiwalay sa asawa ko, maliban na lang kung may gusto na siya na iba." And I asked, "Bakit?" He said, "Kasi alam ko hindi ko na makikita mga anak ko, and hindi ko 'yun kaya." Yes, mga Nan-sis, may mga ganyan pa! Pero baka dying breed na. 

Norman Galang, my elder brother, a businessman based in Canada, is a father to Elizabeth, Kevin (both not in picture) Kiko, Kyle and Karla. Even if he is separated from the moms of his kids, he is a dad who would give anything for his kids. "I let my children explore and do what they want to do. I am there to guide and to pick them up when they fall."

Sa kabilang banda, may mga tatay na WAPAKELS. Ito yung breed na sana di na dumami sa mundo. Di ba, mga Nan-sis? Sino nga ba sila?

Gaya ng workaholic dads, they spend very little time with their families. Late din kasi nakakauwi. No, not from work. But from gala or gimik. In short, yung breed na wapakels sa oras. Usually ang sasabihin, "boys' night out," "for the boys." Pag-uwi, lasheng. Super wasted. So the following morning, late ang gising, may hangover. Kaya ganun pa rin. Wala pa din pakinabang. 

Bong Socco, an HR Practitioner and a father of three: Raffa, Bea and Lia. His kids refers to him as a swiss army father. All in one package and jack of all trades. He is a playmate to his bunso and enjoys how he draws faces on their toes and create memes and puppet shows with it. He taught his only boy, a special person, how to cook. Now it is part of his routine. His panganay, says he us her best friend. To his wife (Jet, above) he is a good provider. But to him, being is just doing fathering as it should be. His favorite part of being a dad, "The best is when my kids makes the effort to surprise me when there are occasions like Father's day and my birthday. Nakakatuwa sila kasi they try to conceal it and I try to expose it early."

Maybe a once-in-while thing is not bad. But too much of everything is. Still, I have never been comfortable with the haunting thoughts that stay with me when I think about what happens in "for the boys" gimmicks. Kasi tayong mga babae, when we say "for the girls," what happens is endless chikahan lang na we talk about anything under the sun, most especially our husbands! 

Ang mga dads naman na nasobrahan sa pag-value ng time with the kids, ayaw nang umalis ng bahay. Ayaw nang magtrabaho! And I am not talking about the "housebands." Kasi sila, ang full time work nila is to take care of the children, clean the house, drive, etc. etc. And all these - while the mommy works. Not a bad set-up.  

Ang tinutukoy kong breed, yung wapakels sa maski anong gawain. Nasa bahay, pero hindi houseband - kundi "housebatugan!" Ayaw mag-chores, ayaw mag-drive, ayaw mag-alaga ng mga bata. Ito yung present lagi, pero parang absent din. Kaya n'yo yun? And yes, all these while mommy works. A very, very bad set-up.

Ricky Juachon, a School Administrator, married to Geraldine and a father to two kids, Eco and Isha. He is the kind who is a bit strict, but playful. Most of the time is spent with his children. "Madalas kami naliligo sa ulan nowadays as bonding. Halos every month din we travel kaya madalas ang bonding namin. We try to do that while they're still young. Pag teenager na kasi baka hindi masyadong sumama sa amin." Their favorite places are either cold ones or the beaches.

Natural, what follows, mga Nan-sis? Sila ang daddy breed na hindi nagpo-provide, ayaw mag-provide, di kaya mag-provide. Wag kang aasa. Kasi sila ang daddy breed na wapakels sila na dumilat ang mga mata ninyo! 

Then there is the proliferating breed na mga babaero daddies. 

Opposite sila ng loyal dads. Wapakels na nga sa mararamdaman ni misis, wapakels pa din sa mararamdaman ng mga bata. Ang sad, ano? Selfish breed ito, mga Nan-sis. Ayoko na mag-elaborate. Kaya lang, sana habang sarili lang nila iniisip nila at nagpapakasaya sila, sana isipin nila ang possible consequences ng mga ginagawa nila. Pero teka, selfish nga pala. Hindi niya iisipin 'yun. 

Marami pang iba't ibang klaseng tatay. Pero isa sa favorite ko ang protective dads. 

Similar sa strict, lalo na sa mga babaeng anak, kasi nga ayaw nilang mapahamak ang mga anak nila or mapunta sa mga breed na walang breeding, hehe. But what I really mean here are the dads who would do everything to keep their children safe. Keep them safe from any harm. Defend them from people na umaapi sa kanila.

Para sa akin, 'yan ang number one role ng daddy. To protect. It's like nature. Daddy animals protect their own and it comes naturally. Sa tao din dapat. Provide their kids with shelter so that they will be protected from all kinds of weather. Feed them so that they will live and be healthy para protektado sila sa mga sakit. Send them to school so they will know how to survive in life.  Spend time with them and teach them the life lessons so they can protect themselves when the time comes. 

It's all the good things in a dad that I said above. 

Ony Carcamo, writer and ventriloquist, father to her only daughter, Audrey (now 23). "I'd say I'm a the kind of dad na PROTECTIVE (I make sure she's safe wherever she is, all the time), GIVING (dahil nag-iisa siya I give her things she wants and needs basta kaya ko), and, I'd want to believe, INSPIRING (I show and tell her life lessons from time to time, and provide her the environment that will help her thrive ). His favorite part about being a father, just knowing he has a child of his own who calls him "daddy".

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Kaya, mga Nan-sis, saludo ako sa mga daddies na hardworking para makapag-provide. Wapakels sa pagod. 

Saludo ako sa mga dads na housebands. They have the humility to reverse the roles para sa ikabubuti ng pamilya. If the wife was given the better opportunity, why not? Wapakels sa iisipin ng iba.

Saludo ako sa loyal husbands. Wapakels sa pag-prove if he still has the itch, este "it" pala. Pamilya ang unang iniisip. 

Sige, saludo na din ako sa mga tatay na kahit pa nagkahiwalay sila ng landas ng partner or asawa niya, never niyang pinabayaan ang mga anak niya. Nagbibigay pa din ng oras at ayuda! 

Higit sa lahat, salute ako sa mga singleD parents. SingleD dads. SingleD mommies. May balls. Tinubuan ng balls. Belated Happy Father's Day sa inyong lahat. 

Father na may balls with his daughter na 
tinubuan na ng balls (not literally but ONLY figuratively!) 

I would like to believe WE are NOT a dying breed. Let's pass it on to our children. Mabuhay tayo! 

Until then. Catch you later!

Nancy Mommy