"Woman, Writer, Warrior"

By Nancy David Galang, MA

"If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write." - Martin Luther

If you don't know me yet - and have not read my first blog,  (https://nancydavidgalang.blogspot.com/2020/04/becomingsingled-6-2020-nancy-d.html) I am a single mom of four, and I refer to my family as the G Skwad (Galang Squad) - they are Nix (Nicolette), Clarice (Nastassia), France (Nadja) and Rocky (Rockwell Clark). From six, we became five, as I got separated from their dad in 2016. From five, we became six again, as I now have a granddaughter, Amara Catrice, by my daughter Clarice. She is also a single mom like me. 


My G Skwad (Galang Squad): Nadja, Rocky, Nix,
Amara and Nastassia

I started writing this blog entitled "Nancy Mommy Naging SingleD" during the pandemic. I always wanted to write, but didn't know what about and when I could possibly start. But as they say, the easiest way to go, is to write your own story. Like most of you, the pandemic forcibly gave me time to do the things I would normally have no time for.  Fast forward from 2020 to present, I now have 44 published entries. Someday --- and soon, I hope, I can make a book to compile my best ones. 

Single with a D, yes. SingleD was a term I coined for this blog, and for what and who I have become after my separation from my husband. SingleD, kasi naging single - naiwan o nang-iwan. In my case it's both, "nag-iwanan" kaming mag-asawa, haha. Iniwan niya ako at iniwan ko rin siya. I will not go into details, but shit happened, kaya eto ako ngayon, nagsusulat ng ganitong blogs!!!

Sharing my story of being a single mom is my service
and testimony to other single moms going through the
same trials I am facing.

The intent to write came from a strong desire to share my story so I could inspire other single moms, single dads, those kids raised by single parents, and perhaps, even those whose marriages and families are intact. It wasn't an easy decision as I have to make major events in my life public. But I finally convinced myself to share my story through my blogs because if I could touch one soul, then my blogs have achieved its greatest purpose. 

Indeed, through the years, my readers have sent me messages saying how my blogs have inspired them. Most of them were able to relate to my stories and would even share theirs to me. Some would even ask me advice regarding what they were going through. Later, I realized that I actually kept writing because of them. I realized that it's actually me who gets inspiration from my readers. To date, my all time reads have reached 22,391!!! Thanks to all of you! Lalo na sa mga Nan-sis ko! (Nanay sisters) 

Allow me to share with you some messages I received from my readers. (I have cropped out the senders' names for data privacy)








Honestly, there are times when I feel like I should stop writing. Puwede namang gawin ko na lang pribado ang buhay ko at mga pinagdaanan ko. Pero gaya nga nang sinabi ko, sayang naman kung ang saysay ng mga pinagdaanan ko ay makatulong sa mga kagaya kong singleD moms. Marami kasing moments that I ask God, why am I going through all these? But maybe this is the answer. This is my testimony. This is why I write and why I should keep writing.

22 years into our marriage, I never thought my husband 
and I would get separated. 

A lot of people who know me and have read my blogs, tell me that they admire me for being strong. My friends also often tell me that. Maybe I am, and maybe I am not. Maybe I just don't have a choice but to face the challenges thrown at me.  Ika nga ng isang kaibigan, "Nung nagsabog si God ng problema, nasalo mo lahat."

It's true! I have faced many kinds of life probems, trials, and struggles - and I am still facing them. 

Pero I owe it to all of you --- to be honest as I can possibly be. I just want to share the "other" side to all my stories. Like most of you, tao lang rin ako na nanghihina, napapagod, nagsasawa, may matinding pagnanais na maiba ang buhay at kinalalagyan, and a few times - gusto na magpahinga for good! Sa totoo lang, kung minsan, sa hirap ng mga pinagdadaanan kong pagsubok, I tell myself, parang....mas madali mag-RIP! Yes, naiisip ko din mag-evaporate sa earth! 

Alam kong marami sa inyong mga Nan-sis ko would agree na wala naman talaga sa atin ang ginustong maging double, only to become singleD.  Kaya nga tayo nagpakasal, gusto natin nang buong pamilya at nang makakasama nang pang-habang buhay. Alam ko din na, siguro, gaya ko, hindi ninyo maubos maisip na puwede din pala sa inyo mangyari ang mga kwentong napapanuod n'yo lang sa teleserye, o di kaya'y na ma-Marites niyo lamang sa inyong mga kaibigan. Biglang - boogsh! You are in that situation!

After almost 7 years as a single mom, I
still get feelings of loneliness and being alone.


Madalas, lalo na sa pag-uwi ko sa gabi, I am lonely and I feel so alone. I always wish mayroon akong kausap bago matulog. I always wish, mayroon akong katabi na sasabihin sa akin, "O, how was your day?", then makikinig lang sa mga 'hanash' ko sa office, sa friends, at kung saan o kanino man. I always wish na kapag maysakit ako, mayroong mag-aalaga sa akin (at hindi yung bawal magkasakit kasi ako lang ang inaasahan ng mga anak ko).  Yung kahit nagpapa-cute lang ako at nagsasakit-sakitan, someone will try to make me feel better at lalambingin ako (chos!) 

Mas-matindi pa ang lungkot kapag nag-si-sink in sa akin na "SHET, mag-isa lang talaga ako!". And these are the times when I have to pay for tuition fees, hospital bills, buy medicines of my kids, take care of my kids when they are sick, and take care of myself when I am sick! Tapos yung lungkot, masusundan pa ng self-pity, then ng pagkainggit, at kung ano-ano pang negative thoughts and feelings. 

Ang dali naman kasing sabihin ng iba - don't compare. Huwag kang mainggit. Hindi mo din alam ang pinagdadaanan nila. Kanya-kanya tayo nang problema. Pero simple lang naman ang mga katanungan ko. 

Bakit sila magkasama? Bakit sila, may kasama? Bakit sila buo ang pamilya? Bakit sila may ka-partner sa pagkalap ng kayamanan sa mundo? (haha joke lang) Bakit sila wala namang mga anak na may depression? Bakit sa kanila, may yumayakap kapag malamig (at malagim!) ang gabi?

Mga Nan-sis, and drama ano?  Pero 'yan lahat ng mga  bagay na sumasagi sa isipan ko sa tuwing may pinagdadaanan ako (which is often!)  Sadly, di ko masagot. Again, wala na naman tayong choice, mga Nan-sis, kundi yakapin ang salitang "ACCEPTANCE".  

What will you do? Hindi ba, wala kang choice, kung hindi harapin? Kaya sa totoo lang, hindi po ako talaga matapang. Tapang-tapangan lang, kasi nasa harap na ako ng mga kalaban - in this case, ang iba't-ibang pagsubok na dumarating. Sa totoo lang, duwag talaga ako. I also feel and experience so much fear, anxiety, worry, and stress. Ang totoo? Magaling lang siguro ako magdala. Kahit ako'y takot na takot na, kunyari,  kering-kering pa din.

What keeps me going is knowing that God is with me 
                   bin every struggle, every heartache, and  He also brings 
                                       me to a season of victory. 

Kaya sa totoo lang, hindi ako matapang, I just know that acceptance is very important for me to be able to go on and face the life I have been given. Again and again, I try to look at my life and ask God, why am I here? Why am I in this situation? What do you want me to do? Tell me and I will obey!

I know that I am first of all, His daughter and He chose me to be the mother of four more of His children.  My role is to love and take care of them, and bring them as close as possible to Him. Why I had to become a singleD mom, I do not know, and perhaps, I will never know. Okay na lang po 'yun, wala din siguro tayong karapatan kwestyunin ang will ni Lord.

Hindi ako matapang - oo, pero I get my strength from God. Because alam ko He is with me every step of the way --- every struggle, every heartache, every victory, no matter how small. Ang alam ko lang, lahat ng pinagdaanan ko mula nang maging singleD ako, hindi naman Niya ako iniwan at pinabayaan. Lagi naman Niyang sinasagot ang taimtim kong dasal na "Lord, please do not forsake me and my children."

So my dear readers - my dear Nan-sis. Do not aspire to be what you think I am. Strong, resilient, always ready to face any major trials. Ok lang po umamin at sabihing: "Ayoko na" "Nanghihina ako."  "Hindi ko na kaya." "Gusto ko nang maiba ang buhay ko." "Lecheng buhay toh!!!"

Pero pagkatapos ninyo sambitin ang lahat ng 'yan, back to fighter mode tayo. Alam n'yo ba yung kantang "The Warrior is a Child" ni Gary Valenciano?

Lately I've been winning battles left and rightBut even winners can get wounded in the fightPeople say that I'm amazingI'm strong beyond my yearsBut they don't see inside of meI'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I come running home when I fall downThey don't know who picks me up when no one is aroundI drop my sword and cry for just a while'Cause deep inside this armorThe warrior is a child

'Yan na 'yan po ako. Hindi lang ninyo siyempre nakikita ang version ko na umiiyak, lalo na sa gabi - na parang isang batang nagsusumbong kay Lord. Kaya mga Nan-sis, ang gusto ko lang naman sabihin sa blog na ito, hindi dahil nagsusulat ako and trying to inspire people, ay magaling ako, strong, matapang, perfect, at kung ano-ano pang adjectives. Ang kaibahan ko lang sa inyo, blogger ako and I am sharing my story, hoping that it would somehow testify to you. And perhaps - make you feel a little better - even for just a moment.


Until then, catch you later!

Nancy Mommy







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