"Before I Became SingleD"

By Nancy D. Galang

This book was born during one of the most uncertain times in our lives - the pandemic.

It was a season when the world slowed down, and in that stillness, people were almost forced to turn inward. Without the usual distractions of busy schedules and constant movement, many of us found ourselves sitting with our thoughts, reflecting more deeply, and reconnecting with parts of ourselves we had long set aside. There was a quiet shift - conversations became more meaningful, emotions more visible, and even silence carried weight.

It was a season when the world slowed
down, and in that stillness I turned inward.

In that space, I found myself becoming more attuned to my inner voice. The noise of the outside world faded just enough for me to hear it clearly. I found the urge to write, to process, to make sense of everything unfolding within and around me. It wasn’t just about putting words on paper; it became a way of grounding myself, of navigating uncertainty, and of giving shape to emotions that felt too overwhelming to hold in silence. 

What started as reflection slowly turned into expression, and eventually, into a deeper recognition of myself as a writer. Sharing my journey as a single mom doesn’t mean I had everything figured out. It came from a deeper sense of knowing - that there were stories within me that needed to be told.

Stories for single moms.
For single dads.
For children raised by one parent.
For anyone who has ever felt alone - even when life looked “complete” from the outside.

This is my story --- ang aking nag--iISAng kuwento.

But before I became “singleD,” I was a woman who believed in one thing with all her heart:

A complete, happy family.

I grew up with that kind of family. My mom (who was a teacher) and my dad (who was a lawyer) were great, hardworking and down-to-earth people, who raised all nine of us to value education, to be responsible, faithful Christians and kind-hearted people.  Our days were all about finishing our assignments, fulfilling assigned chores and older siblings looking after the younger ones. 

Hindi naman perfect at extravagant ang buhay namin, like all families, may mga trials din, pero may disiplina, may pagmamahalan, at higit sa lahat, buo kami. 

And because I saw that kind of life growing up, I thought, ganun din ang magiging kwento ko.I dreamed of raising beautiful children in a “normal” family setup. Yung buo. Yung sama-sama. Yung pang-habangbuhay.

Pero ang totoo? 

Hindi naman tayo ang may hawak ng buhay natin. No matter how carefully we plan, life has a way of unfolding differently - sometimes quietly, sometimes biglang may plot twist.

Langhiya lang, sa kaso ko, kabaliktaran ng pinangarap ko ang nangyari. After almost 23 years, I found myself separated from my husband. Pero at least, yung “beautiful children” part, natupad. (Thank You Lord!)

Blessed with beautiful children: Nicolette, Nastassia,
Nadja, and Rocky

Pero yung “buo”? Hindi.

At doon nagsimula ang bagong kwento ko — ang pagiging Nancy Mommy Naging SingleD.

But before things happened and turned out undesirably and unexpectedly, what was my life like?  Let me take you back, mga Nan-sis.

I was a simple girl with simple dreams. 

In gradeschool, I was a shy, insecure young girl. Hindi ko alam if nahalata ito ng mga classmates ko sa section "Pag-asa" sa Saint Mary's College sa Quezon City. Nasa cream section ako and I was there from Grades 4-6. Madalas, I would ask myself, "Bakit ako nandito eh hindi naman ako kasing talino ng mga classmates ko?" Bobo nga ako sa Math eh, haha. So I guess being in that section, malakas maka-insecure para sa isang bata, kasi you tend to compare yourself with the smarter ones; sometimes, the prettier ones. 

With two of the smartest girls in our
class, Joyce and Rutchel. As a young girl, I always
 wanted to be as intelligent as they were. 

So I grew up carrying that quiet insecurity.

Gusto ko din maging member ng Glee Club, kaya lang, hindi ganun kaganda ang boses ko. Tuwing manonood ako sa mga performances ng classmates ko, inggit na inggit ako. In my mind I'd say, "Why can't I be as good as them?". Matanda na ako nang ma-realize ko, you can be a singer in your own right. Lakasan mo lang ang loob mo, tibayan ang iyong dibdib, at kapalan ang iyong mukha, maski na 70 lang ang score mo! Thanks to Karaoke at naimbento ka!

But this quiet insecurity, and showing up everyday, was my first lesson in grit. 

You see, when a marriage falls apart, most single moms feel a massive wave of insecurity.

We blame ourselves and think that we are a failure for not being able keep the marriage together, that we are not enough...and so on. But I did not let these things stop me, instead, I decided to move forward. I thought, "I’ve felt insecure before, and I led myself out of it once. I can do it again". So fight!

High school was a turning point.

By this time, naka LL (nakaluwag-luwag) na po ang mga magulang ko, kaya't may budget na para sa exclusive school for girls. From SMC, lumipat ako sa Maryknoll HS (now Miriam). I remembered, ang saya ng mommy ko, sinasamahan niya ako araw-araw sa summer classes ko, kasi hindi ako pumasa sa Math, kaya't kailangan ko daw mag-remedial, bago ako maging legit na Maryknoller (Wow, lakas maka-sosyal).

Pero deep inside? Ang laki ng takot ko at ang lakas ng kaba ko. 

Feeling ko out of place ako. Walang boys, so mas nakikita mong maraming magaganda, mas maraming matatalino. Parang dumami lalo ang dahilan para ma-insecure. Pero doon din ako unti-unting natutong lumabas sa shell ko.

I learned early on that even if I wasn't the 'smartest' in the room, I had the stamina to stay until I passed the test. Little did I know, I would need that same stamina to pass the test of raising four children alone.

Sumali ako sa Scout Leadership Training, na hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko. 😄 Pero we were trained to camp, put up up our tent, make fire, and cook straight from our baon na canned goods. 

Ang pinaka-core memory ko? Nahimatay ako. Classic... 

Mabuti na lang, hindi ko nalumitan ang lessons na natutunan ko. 

It was in my highschool years, that I was
able to discover the things that I can do.

In leadership training, we were practicing for a "crisis" in a controlled environment. When my marriage ended, I had to "pitch the tent" and "make the fire" for my four children. And sa totoo lang, maraming pagkakataon, de-lata lang ang maaasahan ko!

In my junior year, because my classmates thought I was a funny girl, I was also pushed to represent our class in a comptetion where I would need to act in a comedy skit. Dahil hindi kami nakakatawa ng ka-tandem ko, we finished as poor third. And I remember, hindi kami lumabas ng backstage sa sobrang hiya, until everybody has left our class. Hindi na po ako umulit after nang masalimuot na pangyayaring 'yun. I realized, mas-gusto ko ang nasa backstage lang ako, so I started to join the organizing committees for our variety shows. 

So I found my place there — organizing, helping, making things happen.

I was also into sports. Dahil mayroon kaming table tennis sa bahay, alam kong mahusay ako doon. I joined the Table Tennis Club, experienced joining school competitions with Ateneo and Claret. I soon became the President. Doon ko nahanap ang confidence ko.

Doon ko unang nasabi sa sarili ko: “Kaya ko pala.”

So before I was the head of a household, I was the President of a club. Every 'Kaya ko pala' I whispered to myself in the halls of Maryknoll was a seed planted for the woman who would eventually have to say it while standing in a quiet, half-empty house.

By college, ibang version na ako ng sarili ko. Mas matapang. Mas willing sumubok. I joined organizations, ran for student positions and nanalo naman po. (Humble brag, konti lang. 😄) Naging president, naging secretary general, naging organizer ng kung anu-anong events.

At Mayknoll College (now Miriam) 
Before I was 'SingleD,' I was already a leader.
I just didn't know I'd be leading a revolution of one.

I thought my years in Scouting, the backstage of variety shows, and student councils were just 'schooling.' I didn't realize they were preparations. God was training the shy girl from Section Pag-asa to become the woman who could build a fire in the middle of a storm. Before I was 'SingleD,' I was already a leader. I just didn't know I'd be leading a revolution of one.

Pero bago tayo mapunta sa bagyong 'yun, tapusin ko muna ang kuwento. While still rehearsing for our college graduation, may naghihintay na trabaho sa akin as a Segment Producer sa ABS-CBN. Modesty aside… medyo minamadali na nila akong kunin. 😄 Excited na ang Executive Producer namin noon na si Korina Sanchez na isama ako sa “Mel and Jay.” (Kung alam mo ‘to, ka-edaran kita. Hehe.)

It was a dream start.

But life had other plans.

On my 21st birthday, I entered into what would be a serious relationship with the man who would become the father of my children. I had just quit my job as producer and decided to take my Master’s, started teaching at Miriam College, and unexpectedly found myself building a career that would last for decades. At 25, I was married. At 27, I had my Master's Degree. 

Hindi naman tayo ang may hawak ng buhay
natin. No matter how carefully we plan, life has
 a way of unfolding differently - sometimes quietly, sometimes biglang may plot twist

By my late twenties, the credits were rolling on the first act of my life, and I loved the script. I had the career, the credentials, and the man I believed was my 'forever.' I was the producer who had finally arranged the perfect set. I looked at the 'complete' family I was building and thought, 'This is it. This is the story I was born to tell.'  Little did I know, the Director had a plot twist in mind that no amount of leadership training could have prepared me for. The show was about to change, and I was about to find out what happens when the producer has to step out from behind the scenes and survive the scene itself.

Beyond all the roles, titles, and achievements, my life would eventually be defined not just by what I built…

…but by what I had to rebuild.

This book is a collection of my blog entries: raw, honest, and straight from the heart.

Sharing my journey as a single mom doesn’t
 mean I had everything figured out. It came from
 a deeper sense of knowing - that there were
stories within me that needed to be told.

Hindi ito kuwento ng perpektong babae. Ito ang kuwento ng bubog ko sa buhay. Ito ay kuwento ng isang babaeng nangarap, nasaktan, natauhan… at higit sa lahat, gumanda! Este, bumangon.

And before we dive into my journey as a single mom, I wanted you to meet the woman I was — before I became “SingleD.”

Until then, catch you later!

Nancy Mommy