The “We” I Once Knew

By Nancy David Galang, MA

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
— A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

There are sunsets you watch with someone, and there are
sunsets you learn to enjoy on your own.
(I took this photo when I drove up to Tanay, Rizal)

Bago ako naging mag-isa, meron munang “kami.”

Kami na mag-schoolmates. Kami na magkapitbahay. Kami na magkaibigan. Kami na naging mag-jowa. 😂😂😂 Kami na nagkatuluyan...at kami na nagkaroon ng limang anak (one in heaven).

I first heard about him from my high school classmates at Maryknoll College High School (MCHS). He seemed popular and was a "crush ng bayan", as we would call it during those days. But I did not take interest, I was not into boys yet (ang alam ko lang, masugid na fan ako ni Gabby Concepcion at Nonoy Zuniga!)

How did we meet? 

We met when I was 16 and he was 21. I was in 4th year high school. Siya, bagong graduate ng college. We were schoolmates at Maryknoll College (now Miriam) Yes, at one point, mayroong boys doon. 

Akala n'yo mga Nan-sis sa school kami nagkakilala, but no. Little did I know… kapitbahay ko pala siya. So...

One night in December, nag-caroling sila sa bahay namin... Hindi ko pa siya agad napansin noon. Mas nagkausap pa nga sila ng Ate ko dahil sila ang nag-abot sa college. 

Pero doon na pala magsisimula ang kuwento namin. Looking back, I now realize, napakabata ko pa when we first met. Young, idealistic, and easily swayed by emotions. 

Bakit nga ba siya? Hindi n'yo po naitatanong, I had other options. (Feelingera lang po).

Una sa lahat - guwapo. Mabait. Simple. Among all my suitors, he made himself consistently present in my life for five years. 

We became best friends during all those years, bago naging kami. (Ang tagal niya ako bago sinabihan na gusto niya ako maging GF. So hirap na hirap ako to hold back my feelings. Fake it 'til you make it muna at bff role kunyari)

He had great talent in music. He would play the guitar, piano, and sing to me. Eh alam n’yo naman mga Nan-sis…kapag kumakanta, pogi points 'yun. 

Lakas maka-kilig! 😄

Pero higit pa doon, simple siya. Not too ambitious. I never really heard him talk much about big, major plans. Not too much. Ang natatandaan ko lang, he was really passionate about music. 

I also saw he had a good family background. His parents were really nice, religious people. I clicked with his brothers and sisters. 

Paano nga ba naging kami?

I was fresh out of college when he asked. It was my 21st birthday. Among all my male friends, he was the one who chose to stay after the party.  'Yun pala, mayroon nang balak.

My 21st birthday celebration - June 4, 1990. 

So naging kami - finally. 

Noong panahon namin na ang landline was a staple in every household, "telebabad" was the thing. Hindi nagtatapos ang araw sa pagkikita. Pag-uwi niya, magtatawagan pa kami. Mag-uusap kami ng 3 to 5 hours. Bukod sa kaagaw ko ang iba kong mga Ate, galit na ang party line! (Mga Nan-sis from the 80s and 90s, alam n’yo ‘yan. Sa mga younger readers, please google kung ano 'yan)

Those long conversations… doon namin nakilala ang isa’t isa.

Fast forward.

Ang nagsimula sa caroling at telebabad, nauwi sa kasalan. More than three years as a couple, bago kami ikinasal.

I guess we clicked because we were both artists and we shared the same interest in music. He had a band called "The Gelboys". They were quite popular in the 80's. The kind of fame that would make it as a regular in "That's Entertainment". But only very briefly, as they disbanded after a year or so. 

Just a little trivia: They released their eight-track
debut LP in 1986 under Octo Arts International
and went on to perform on several major Philippine
 television programs of the era, including That’s Entertainment, Eat Bulaga!, GMA Supershow,
and Student Canteen.

Pareho din kaming simple. We were both homebodies. Ang dates namin sa SM North lang. Sometimes sa Quezon City Circle. Sometimes sa Wildlife Park sa North Avenue. We had many happy moments as a young couple. 

The We I Once Knew

We supported each other. I was his PA (production assistant) in all his gigs. He supported me through my Masters education. I remember one time, I did not have money to buy books kasi nagkagalit kami ng dad ko and I could not ask him for money, and yes this BF shouldered everything. 

This type of partnership went on when we got married. He supported me in my TV career. I supported his music and stint as the CEO of their family business.

We built a life.

We raised our children together.

We were… once a happy couple.

And that was the “we” I once knew.

The last family picture we had with him.
A beautiful memory of a time when we were still “we.”

The first family picture without him. And this is what remains. 

What Remains When It Ends

But then, things changed.

It’s strange how something so beautiful can end. Hindi lahat magkakaroon ng happy ending. Walang perfect na tao. Walang relasyon na walang problema. Lahat sinusubok ng panahon at mga pangyayari.

And just like that, the “we” I once knew… slowly became “ako na lang.”  Hindi isang biglaang pagtatapos, kundi unti-unting pagkawala ng dating “kami.”

But that “we” was once a very beautiful part of my life. I will not be who I am today without that part of my journey. (Wala lang, naalala ko lang, kasi 5th death anniversary na niya a few days ago.)

"Ako na lang". Nine years later (after our separation),
I’ve learned to be okay with the quiet, with my own
company,and with the life that remained
after “we” became “me.”

Maybe that’s what remains when something ends - not the relationship itself, not the “we” that once was, but the memories, the lessons, and the person we became because of it.

Hindi naman lahat ng natapos kailangang kalimutan. Some things are worth remembering simply because, for a time, they were beautiful. One day, maybe our kids can read our story. This part that was beautiful. 

Kayo ba, mga Nan-sis - what remains from the chapters of your life that have already ended? What have you chosen to keep, and what have you finally learned to let go?

Until then mga Nan-sis!

Catch you later!

Nancy Mommy